Blame it on the mischievous spirits of All Hallows Eve. Or maybe the soft curves and a particularly spicy carved smile. Something set a Warren, Michigan, man off, though, and his neighbours were none too impressed when they looked out their window and saw the same man they’d complained about once before (when he was masturbating in their yard), standing, pants dropped, getting it on with a pumpkin.

Warren Detective Sgt. Gary Johnson claims he’s not seen any other case of “a guy doing anything with a vegetable or fruit,” but couldn’t confirm whether or not 45-year-old pumpkin humper Bill Saintclair Patton was at all inspired by the like scene in American Pie. “If that’s where he got the idea to do this, I don’t know,” Johnson said.

Called a “habitual criminal and sexual delinquent” by the Michigan Department of Corrections, Patton was sentenced to 90 days for his moment of passion. :

» Scott Saxon