| Hots
’n’ nots
The
toughest trends stake their claim for fall 2002
by
PEPPY G and LONG DUK DONG
Another season signals another epic battle
between good and evil, dark and light, yin and yang, the new black and
the old black. Here, ladies and gentlemen, in no particular order, are
the winners and losers of the moment.
Hots
 •
Exaggerated, bright, multi-coloured Peruvian-Andean folkloric look
• All black, romantic goth (not since “Thriller” have
the undead looked so good)
• Multi-tone beige knits (sounds boring, looks good)
• Denim in excess (denim shoes, belts, teeth and glasses)
• Big oversized leather shoulder bags (tack on an extra two hours
of search time for those keys)
• Extra-long everything (jackets, scarves, skirts, cop the modest
look for once, you saucy wenches)
• Puffy fur jackets cinched with a thick leather belt at the waist
(think Barbarella trapped on the ice planet)
• Cloaks (upgrade your poncho, it’s getting smelly)
• Sequins, painted designs and other cute things on your face
(better than bukkake)
• Black stilettos that tie up with ribbons or skinny wraparound
straps around the ankles (for women who love men who love women to trample
them)
• High-waisted pants (mons pubis, not mons public)
• Big chunky knits with extra large bubbly parts and fringey frills
(got that?)
• Grey (yes, yawn, again)
• Old-school Hollywood glam (think 1930s or ’40s satin and
costume jewellery)
• The “new grunge,” aka “21st-century grunge”—it’s
all glammed up (see old-school Hollywood glam and scruff it up a bit
with some long johns)
• Weird crooked, mismatched plaids (the quilt factory exploded)
• Animals and children in advertising (welcome to the ultimate
accessories)
• Gold (last century, back in 1999, this was so hot. Those were
the days, eh?)
• DIY clothing (fight the power by writing, silkscreening, tearing
and cutting your own stuff)
• Pony Play (giddy up!
|
nots
 •
Big hair (put down the hairspray, pick up the pomade)
• All the super-bright and colourful girly combinations of two
seasons ago (you, wearing the entire colour spectrum, get back in
black!)
• Overly high-tech sneakers (take your $300 space shoes back
to Uranus)
• Baby doll anything (the 35-year-old Lolita syndrome)
• Peasant tops (the peasants are revolting! And so are those
tops by now)
• Toreador-style (guys in big sequined above the waist jackets
with big puffy shoulders)
• Crying (keeping it all balled up inside rules!)
• Men’s knitted or mesh skullcaps (we know you’re
bald so just stop it already)
• Corporate logo parody T-shirts (McDonald’s becomes “Marijuana,”
Bell becomes “Hell”, Pepsi becomes “Bitch”
and the like. Way to fuck the system)
• Clip-on shades (two words: Blue Blockers)
• Rhinestones or studding on jeans (you look like a transformer
just splooged on you)
• Underwear (go commando)
• Pre-stressed denim (wearing out your jeans is cool, buying
something that makes you look like you’ve pissed bleach is not)
• Ultra-low, Brazilian-cut jeans (we know your sink needs unclogging,
but this is ridiculous)
• Sporty dress shoes (“sneakers” with rubber stiletto
heels etc, this little-bit-of-this ’n’ that, evil Frankenstein
footwear has got to go)
• Frayed denim (frayed not)
• Preppy sporty look (the preferred uniform of the Native Torontonian
male, spot him in his adopted habitat, the McGill ghetto)
• Pseudo-sporty tops with jersey numbers on the back (unless
it’s 69, which totally rocks)
• Fridays (forget T.G.I.F. It’s all about S.H.I.T.: So
Happy It’s Thursday)
• Aliens (haven’t you heard? Robot is the new alien)
FASHION
>> the
boys behind the Plateau shirts
>> Duy
reveals the secrets of his winning
>> Less
is more at Eskimo Store and Design
>> On
& On ecolo chic gives old clothes a chic new life
>> Christopher
Kon’s leather sacs score points south of the border
>>
Busybody Patrick Pépin wants to give
men nothing but the best
>> Ritual
Designs make corsets for 21st-century goths
>> The
toughest trends stake their claim for fall 2002
|