Head like
a hole

Pucker up: This ass-tounding site comes from Networthy operative Neil “The Real Deal.” If you ever have that not-so-fresh feeling, especially out back, Sphincterine may be the product for you. It’s an all-natural blend of minerals, herbs and oils to soothe your keister and make it kissably fresh. This personal, umm… rectifier is a real product that can be ordered online for home delivery. The user testimonials suggest you’ll be confident and claim Sphincterine is like Altoids for your ass. You can shove it at www.mintyass.com.

Only a drill: The ancient practice of trepanation involves drilling a hole into the skull of a living human being to relieve illness or release evil spirits. Originally practiced with sharp rocks in prehistoric times and later with more modern implements, this unscientific ritual continues today, with supporters advocating putting a hole in your head to make you well again. Open your mind (and buy a T-shirt) at www.trepan.com. : - Michael Citrome