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This
week: Hand of Doom, Le Crapeau, punk vandals!
F Yeah, I’ve got an opinion on the local music scene. See, there was this lame-assed guitarist doing covers all over Montreal for the past 20 years. He’d play in bars, which is where he would find his prey--unsuspecting women--where he could unleash all his built up anger with women by flirting with them from the stage, manipulating them and in the end humiliating them. And the city got sick of these lame-assed aging rockers doing covers so he now has to work in a guitar shop in the West Island, where he tries to pull the same stunts from the sidewalk. Unfortunately, in this new environment there are no barmaids to warn the public about what his game is all about. But at least the people reading this Rant Line™ will have been warned. [BLEEP!] M To all the people dissing CHOM: put it in perspective. Most of the bands today don’t even write or play their own music. Hey, I don’t agree with most of the stuff CHOM plays but it’s a hell of a lot better than half the crap that’s being played on the other radio stations today. Ciao. [BLEEP!] F Hi. I’m calling because I’m really sick of all you self-proclaimed cool Montreal people laughing at us South Shore peeps. I’ve heard some incredibly ignorant--not to mention laughable--comments about THE SHORE having cows in each backyard. So, for the record, the Shore is more than mini-malls and prairies. The Shore is a great place to live and bring up children and it’s only 10 minutes away from downtown. So stop laughing at us. [BLEEP!] F Hi. I’d just like to say that on St-Jean-Baptiste night, it was beautiful--full moon, a gorgeous evening in Montreal, beautiful people everywhere. Me and some friends went and hung out at the park on the swings and then went across the street to the monument at Jeanne Mance Park. We watched some fabulous dancing people and listened to some great music and watched as numerous garbage cans were being set on fire. And then some fucking bunch of assholes decided to set the bench behind us on fire. Like what the fuck do you want to do? Do you want to burn down the beauty of the fucking Montreal mountain? Are you out of your mind? If you want to be a fucking rebel, smoke a joint and kick your friend or something, I don’t know. God, I was so frustrated about it and I couldn’t believe that no one was turning around and protecting their environment. It fucking pissed me off. The next time you see some fucking punk destroying your fabulous city, would you kick him in the ass please? [BLEEP!] M When I look at OLD PEOPLE, I think wow, they’ve just produced so much more shit than me in their lifetime. [BLEEP!] F This is a message for the guy who left a rant last week looking for a female photographer. I might be interested in your experiment so you can e-mail me at curiousfemalephotographer@hotmail.com. Thanks. [BLEEP!] F Yeah, I’m responding to the guy looking for a really cute female photographer. I’m female, I’m curious, I’m super-cute. My photography is a little AMATEUR but I want to know what is this very odd experiment? Thanks. Bye. [BLEEP!] F Yeah, this goes out to the girl who’s ranting about $200 jeans. Number one, Le Crapeau does not have $200 jeans. Number two, don’t be so jealous--it’s gonna turn you sour, baby. Number three, I am sure a CHEAP TAN probably looks a lot better than your pimpled white ass. Thank you. Bye. [BLEEP!] F Yeah, American hater dude. Please keep in mind that half the population didn’t even vote for George W. Bush and some of us have jumped ship just because we hate American politics. Don’t put all Americans in the same bag. After all, if we compared all you Canadians to Chrétien, I don’t know, I don’t think you’d feel very good about it. Ciao. [BLEEP!] M [with British accent] This is in response to the person’s rant about Americans and the fact that BattleBots is an American way of showing their terrorist acts. Well, for your information, BattleBots was invented in England. The Americans are just copying another great show from the BBC which makes them TERRORISTS OF TELEVISION. That’s what they are. They’re evil and naughty. [BLEEP!] F This is for the guy who’s complaining about girls fucking boys with strap-ons. Who the hell are you to tell people what they can and cannot do? You’re not the SEX POLICE. It’s none of your business what goes on in the bedrooms of consenting adults. It’s not like there’s a girl coming at you with a strap-on and it’s a good thing too because it would never go in what with the stick that’s already up your ass. [BLEEP!] Next week: Open forum Got
an opinion on the local scene? |