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Dianetics for dummies

>> Scientology auditor helps new recruits confront their past

by CHRIS BARRY

Photo by Jason Felker

Name: Darrell Schlereth

Age: 47

Occupation: Auditor for the Church of Scientology

Bio: This quirky Rosemont resident was acomputer programming student in Edmonton before visiting Montreal in 1974 and accidentally stumbling upon the wacky, wonderful world of L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology. Relieved to “finally have found something that made sense,” he relocated here shortly afterwards so he could be closer to the Church and further develop his Scientology “auditing” skills. When not spreading the Word he is busy running his own small advertising business.

What the hell a Scientology audit is: Something that most new Church members undertake, similar to a psychological evaluation, but more spiritual in nature and performed with a nifty little gizmo called an “E meter.”

How the hell an “E meter” works: Darrell claims it picks up on electromagnetic energy and recognizes when a person is shifting various thoughts around in their head. “The person being audited holds two electrodes in their hands and when they think of something upsetting it creates an influence in the E meter. Then the auditor can start pressing them to address this horrible thing from their past. This way we can go straight into stuff that is really going to be part of a person’s spiritual adventure.”

How much he charges for an audit: $48 an hour.

His thoughts on people who accuse the Scientologists of being a cult like the Children of God or the Raelians: “These are just people with axes to grind. It’s like people who put down others because of race.”

Why he feels people are so quick to put Scientology down: “Sometimes it’s ignorance, but hey, for all I know it could be that some people are opposed to our views.”

Two things the church is not crazy about: Drug use and homosexuality. “But the Church preaches tolerance. You can be both a homosexual and a Scientologist, but in general, as people ‘go clear,’ they find themselves changing and finding more constructive ways to live. We’re not there to tell a person how they should spend their hours in the bedroom, but on the other hand, homosexuality is viewed as an aberration. But being homosexual doesn’t make you any less of a human.”

Has he ever heard of Xenu, the mysterious space monster that some Scientologists allegedly claim is responsible for the Creation? No.

One thing the Scientologists are working towards: “A world without insanity.”

Does he believe that L. Ron Hubbard was a god, a Christ-like prophet, or simply a gifted philosopher? More of a philosopher. “Mr. Hubbard was just a man. A very wise man, but just a man and not a figure to be worshipped.”

Does he like to drink? Only in moderation.

Last book read: A Painted House, by John Grisham.

Musical preferences: Chicago blues, the Rolling Stones.

A recent film he liked: Mystery, Alaska.

Television preferences: Discovery channel, news programming.

Words of wisdom: “If you engage in constructive actions, you will live a happier life.” :

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca