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Let slip the dogs of Gwar >>
Oderus Urungus hates you and wants to kill you
Mirror: Who
are Gwar’s enemies? Oderus Urungus:
People that are weaker and more helpless than us and anything that we
can break easily, pretty much the human race. Politicians, religious
figures, cooking show hosts, famous astronauts, TV quiz show hosts,
ferris-wheel operators and giant dinosaurs. M: You’ve
forgotten to mention emocore fans. OU: Emocore?
Is that that really kind of sappy hardcore stuff where they sing “me,
me, me, I, I, I, you, you, you” kind of shit? They are right up
there on top of our list of people who must be destroyed, add that to
my list. M: The one
thing that seems to float your boat is violence. OU: Along
with beer and bathing in blood. I just like breaking things. I guess
it’s because I’m so insecure with myself that I take it out
on others, basically. M: If you
could only torture one person, who would it be? OU: I guess
it would be you for telling me I can only torture one person. Just kidding,
hmmm, let’s see—well, I torture millions just by opening my
mouth. I would hate to put a human on a pedestal and say that this one
is more deserved of agony then the next one. I guess if I had to pick
just one I would chose the Pope. I think I would split his gonads and
his nostrils with a boat hook and then shove hummingbirds up his ass.
He’s such a useless piece of obsolete flesh. M: You recently
donated your “cuddlefish” (Urungus’s severed penis) to
the Hard Rock Cafe and there was a bit of a scene— OU: They invite me there and I am a bit of a loud, rowdy and obnoxious alien. I was there to help and the next thing I know they want to put me in jail. Apparently my ass was hanging out or something, and thousands had to die. My new cuddlefish has grown back and is even bigger.
The real Oderus M: There
is a guy named Dave Brockie that says he is the real Oderus behind the
mask. Would you like to send a message to him? OU: Yeah.
I don’t know who you are or what you are doing saying you are the
real Oderus but I know you better then anyone else because you’re
me and I’m going to kill me. M: What? OU: Confusion
is what I’m best at, really. M: There
is a lot of violence happening in the world now— OU: People
thought the new millennium would usher in peace and tranquillity. Ha,
ha, ha! We are in the era of death, pestilence, apocalypse, war, famine,
plague—and I’m taking all the credit for it, too. M: If you
had Alan Alda, Courtney Love and the Michelin Man in a room, and had
to choose who to destroy first, who would it be? OU: Easily
Alan Alda. M.A.S.H. was such a shitty show. I mean, how many Christmas
episodes did they expect us to sit through? Actually, I would kill Alan
Alda with Courtney Love. I wouldn’t kill the Michelin Man though
because I love him. I would like to play bouncy-bouncy with him. C’mon,
he’s rolly-polly and cutesy-pootsy. I could never kill him. M: What
can we expect from the new live show? OU: A lot
of death, hacking, killing and blood flying. We will be killing a lot
of people that you all hate and they will be getting exactly what they
deserve. And also, uh, free crack. M: A lot
of people have said that you musically have nothing to say and are just
a gimmick. OU: Anybody who says something that I don’t want to hear can go fuck themselves. If somebody told me that, I would shove a sword through their head and say, what do you think of that gimmick? Okay, sure, we’re a gimmick—we are the best fuckin’ gimmick ever. We have been around for millions of years, we rock harder than anybody else and our shows fuckin’ rule. Fuck you! : With Deadly
Pale and Violent Marv at Club Soda on Wednesday, May 1, 8pm, $24
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They
look like stuff the late Jim Henson came up with after a crystal meth
bender, but Gwar are just as real as WWF wrestling and twice as threatening.
Having been around for a few million years, barbaric deathcore super-aliens
Gwar could teach you a few things about the lost art of bloodletting,
maiming and laying down some righteous riffage. With their new record
You’re All Worthless and Weak tucked under the codpieces, Gwar
still sound heavier then a teabaggin’ from God. The Mirror talked
to singer Oderus Urungus about a bunch of bad stuff. Be warned, he ain’t
no Maya Angelou.