Tooth and painted nail

>>Rival DJs Joffrey and Plastik Patrik face off

by LORRAINE CARPENTER

Like black ’n’ white, day ’n’ night and sweet ’n’ sour, Joffrey and Plastik Patrik are two sides of the same smoke ’n’ lipstick-stained card. These former MAC employees, DJs, musicians, glamour junkies and ex-pats from the gay house scene began their stormy friendship back in 1994. Patrik played host while Joffrey played go-go dancer at the Royale (ex-club, current hardware store), then at Metropolis’ Squeeze night, which Patrik fondly remembers as “the highest concentration of working freaks in Montreal history.” With fellow scenester Jaclyn Jet in tow, the pair formed a drag show trio called Pussy Power in ’96, one of several short-lived Patrik ’n’ Joffrey endeavours.

“We did some shows in Trois Rivières, that was our big tour,” says Joffrey, also a member of drag troupe House of Pride until ’98, the same year Patrik quit a similar stint at Groove Society to delve into his sleazerock band One976. The daring duo came together once again for Hollywood Crash, an eight-month DJ gig at Unity that crashed and burned when the club shut down last year.

Which brings us to the present. With One976 about to release their proper debut disc, Patrik is keeping busy DJing at his Panic nights with ex-Caféïne dude Xavier, Friday nights at Saphir. Joffrey is working on an electro/alt-rock solo project, playing keyboards for local chanteuse Eva Stone, and, as DJ Frigid, spinning every Thursday at Overdose, a large-scale electro night at the village’s Parking (formerly Playground). Make-up, leather and attitude were on hand as the Mirror got these shit-slinging soulmates together and let the dirt fly.

Mirror: So Joffrey, congratulations on getting 300-plus crowds at Overdose—

Joffrey: I’m really happy about that, but, at the same time, I find a smaller venues more relaxed, even Unity was more easy-going. Once or twice, I skipped a CD at Parking and I was stressed for the whole night.

Plastik Patrik: You were already a stressed-out kinda guy. (to interviewer) If you want dirt, he would show up at Unity with a playlist and his records all in order, it always made me laugh.

J: And at Parking I don’t have a DJ booth, it’s open, people just come in, right to my face.

PP: And you don’t like to talk very much.

J: I don’t mind talking once in a while but when there’s 400 people and I’ve got five people around me and the song is two minutes, it’s really not cool, but people don’t know that so sometimes I’m really rude.

PP: He’s such a bitch!

J: You can’t just say, “Oh, this person is cool, I’ll just chat with them, fuck the rest!” People want the music to be fluid and if there’s dead air, I can’t say anything because I don’t even have a mic.

PP: That would be in my contract, I can’t DJ without a mic.

Wired for sound

J: Oh, you wanna hear something bad about him?

M: Sure.

PP: Yeah, bring it in.

J: He loves talking on the mic, which is good and bad. It’s good because I didn’t have to do it, announce last call and everything, but I felt that it could sound like, “I’m Plastik Patrik, I’m really hot and this is my guest DJ, DJ Frigid,” like I was the little busboy DJ, just there for his break.

PP: (play-acting) “Okay, you can play a few records now, I need to go to the bathroom.”

J: He takes up a lot of space, even now at Saphir.

PP: He takes serious space.

J: I’m so happy to be by myself now, that’s the best thing for me. I like creating the mood for the whole night.

PP: I prefer to party. I see myself as more of a host, so it’s important for me to go into the room and chat and all of that. I don’t want the responsibility of being a good technical DJ. I always concentrate on what I’m doing but I want it to be fun and I want it to be funny, so if the CD starts skipping, fine with me.

M: Does Xavier appreciate that?

PP: Well, when he plays the two-to-three o’clock shift, he’s usually so drunk that he repeats songs. You see, some DJs have no problem playing four Iggy Pop songs in an hour and he’s one of those. I’m always thinking, “Oh, I just played… that… you’re right, it doesn’t matter.”

Drag-out, knock-down

M: Okay, who would win in a fight?

PP: Me! We’ve fought many times, he would always start it and I won every single time.

J: In a verbal fight, nobody would win, it would just build up to something really nasty. But, okay, a physical fight? Look at him and look at me, for sure I’m on the floor—

PP: —in a minute! But in any partnership, there’s… bumps.

J: We had arguments in the DJ booth.

PP: “Uh, the song’s over,” “Don’t tell me what to do!”

J: But we never fought physically, that never happened.

PP: No, remember there was a time we used to fight every night?

J: That was for show.

PP: It was entertainment, but was it ever fun! One of us would yell “Bitch!” and fall down fighting, and the dancefloor would clear. It was so cool!

J: We were like cheap strippers in Showgirls. Oh, but there was one big night where Jaclyn was supposed to push Patrik offstage and she pushed him so hard he sprained his wrist!

PP: I said, “It would be funny, in this part of the show, if I fall off the stage, but pretend you’re really giving me a good shove.” So the time comes, she gives me this giant shove and I go flying off the stage, land on my knees and hands, climb back up to finish the show—there was about two minutes left—and afterwards, I thought, “Wow, I’m really in pain, what the hell?”

J: So after that I put on my platform shoes and say, “Okay, I’m gonna go dance.” I jump, fall down and go, “(gasp) My ankle!”—the same night—so I thought, “I can’t just leave the stage like I fell on my ass,” so I go back up and keep dancing, but on one foot! So we both go to the hospital in drag, with me in a wheelchair.

PP: And I had a wrap, trying to push him around with one hand.

J: And I ended up with crutches for a month and a half.

PP: Ah, the memories.7

Overdose with DJ Frigid (Joffrey), Thursdays at Parking, 10pm-3am, $2. Panic with DJs Plastik Patrik and XXX Caféïne, Fridays at Saphir (1st floor), 10pm-3am, $6