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This week: Big women, fagging out, squirting workshops! Plus: Air Canada identified as corporate skid mark!!
“edited”
by AL SOUTH
M I’m calling about this new CHOM—don’t get me wrong, it’s great, it’s the music I’ve been dying to hear for years. After the sun goes down, CHOM really gets their funk on! But there’s a little too much Geddy Lee, not enough Jimi Hendrix. Put some more Jimi. We need our Jimi. Montreal hears Jimi. Give us the Jimi! [BLEEP!] F This is for the girl who was claiming there were no radio stations in Montreal. I agree those radio stations are really shitty, but you should check out the CBC Radio 2 jazz show After Hours. That could be really good for you. For your brain, actually. [BLEEP!] M No diversity for Montreal radio? Where the hell are you coming from? At 89.3, there’s CISM, that’s the Montreal University radio station. Over at 90.3, there’s CKUT, there’s lots of diversity there, too. And if you actually put an antenna on your radio instead of listening to the regular crap, you could also get CIBL at 101.5. Get out your damn radio and experiment, fiddle around with the dial. There’s a hell of a lot more out there than CHOM FM and stupid MIX 96. Peace. [BLEEP!] F This goes out to the chick who wanted to hear Femdom music. Check out DJ Vilaine Ladies’ Night on Thursdays at Foufs. She plays stuff from Chicks on Speed to the Deadly Pale. Only music made by powerful women. Ciao. [BLEEP!] F Hey listen, mister big friend of Sarah McLachlan. If that old whore is so upset by what people have to say about her on the Rant Line™ then let her call in her own rants. And you should just go mind your own business, you big fruitcake. Long live Femdom! [BLEEP!] M Ah, Sarah McLachlan is a sell-out. She’s got a cookbook out for God’s sake. If that’s not whoredom, what is? [BLEEP!] M We propagate self-loathing and insecurity down the throats of every single woman and sell the shit as empowerment and cram corrosives and fucking plastics into a shiny package and pretend it’s food and we’re all fucking getting MAD COW DISEASE as we eat each other like fucking pigs at a trough and this disease has somehow allowed people to accept that a gun is something that we let into our communities. Someone was shot around the corner today. Wake up, people. Wake the fuck up. [BLEEP!] M Yeah, I got a rant. How come you can’t find any BIG WOMEN in this city? I’m a man who loves a large woman and they’re nowhere. Does anybody know where there are any good clubs where large women hang out? If so, please rant back. Man who loves large women! [BLEEP!] M I have a brilliant business suggestion for those people running the Bell Centre. Why don’t you try this? Why don’t you sell decent food at a decent price? Don’t charge me $6 for my beer, charge me $3 for my beer. Don’t charge me $4.75 for my steamie hot dog with mustard and relish when I can get two steamies at Lafleur’s for a buck covered in cole slaw and onions. Man, give me some decent products in your hockey rink and I will go watch your hockey games. But I’m not gonna go to your stinking rink when I have to pay $20, $40, or $60 for my ticket and then get ripped off with really crappy too-expensive food and accessories. That is all. [BLEEP!] M Hey, this is just to say that the highlight of the St. Patrick’s Day Parade for me, standing at Bishop and Ste-Catherine, was, to my surprise, when the Air Canada float went by, everyone just automatically BOOED it. It was great. Die Air Canada, you monopolizing high fare corporate mogul skid mark. Bye. [BLEEP!] F Hi. This is for Miss Squirter. I accept your invitation. I would love for you to show me how to squirt. Bye. [BLEEP!] M This is a message for the Divine Miss Squirter. I would just like to say that I too am a big fan of female ejaculation but, unfortunately, I have never managed to make it happen with my girlfriend. So if you ever want to give a WORKSHOP or something to teach people then please sign me up first. Because female ejaculation is hot. Thanks. Bye. [BLEEP!]
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