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Gee-rated >>
The notorious Mike Gee crusades for truth, tolerance and understanding
Mirror: Let’s
start with famous Casa incident. Mike Gee:
I opened with “Fat Chicks,” probably one of the best songs
ever written. The lyrics go, “No one cares about big, fat chicks/Big,
fat ass, big, fat tits/Eat your life away at the buffet.” Now,
what they don’t fucking realize is that I’m singing a song
about how nobody cares about fat chicks anymore. Back in the day, man,
when the first settlers came here, you wanted a big, fat, motherfuckin’
bitch, because she could pump out babies and live after and give milk
to the kids. You have a skinny, anorexic hooker like we see in the magazines—sure,
she looks nice, but she can’t pump out a kid without dying after.
But these people are so stupid, they don’t even realize what I’m
singing about. They’re just like, “No, you can’t do that.”
There’s this bunch of indie kids who think I’m sexist because
I’m singing songs like “Your Granny’s Got a Grey-haired
Punani.” M: Which
is probably true. I haven’t checked my grandmother’s crotch
lately. MG: So how
is that sexist? Have you been to school? Do you know what the term “sexist”
means? If you spread your granny’s wrinkly legs and open up her
pooch, you will find that she has a grey-haired punani. I guarantee
you. So it’s not sexist. Again, I’m just kicking the truth.
But these people are fascists. They don’t want to hear the truth.
Listen, I’m the last musical saviour the world has right now, you
know what I’m saying? I’m here to bring the truth to the people.
I’m fighting these people like we fought the fuckin’ Nazis—and
I’m gonna win, baby. What I’m saying is, if you’re going
to take my lyrics as poetry, which they really are—you know, when
I sleep I dream, and when I dream, God tells me what I’m supposed
to say to the people—take them for what they are. M: What
about the threats of violence in the Rant Line™? MG: First of all, I have to say, whatever. They don’t know me, and I don’t think they even know themselves, for that matter. Look, violence solves nothing. I’m not just saying that to save my own ass, because, hey, come test. There’ll be 10 ninjas at my show. No joke, man. It’s so stupid that they’d say, “We’ll kick your ass.” Why? Did I kick their asses? It all stems from that “Fat Chicks” song. I’m not apologizing for that song, take it for what it is. But these people who are supposed to be politically correct, threatening me with violence—I’m giving them enough rope to hang themselves, and they’re doing just fine. : With the
Vaginal Croutons at Club Zone on Saturday, March 9, 9pm, $3 |
The
name Mike Gee no doubt rings a loud and unpleasant bell in the heads
of Rant Line™ readers and Casa del Popolo regulars alike. This
troublesome troubadour—whose debut single “Suck My Dick,”
given a cursory listen, might sound kind of vaguely like the worst thing
ever recorded (though he feels otherwise)—had the plug pulled on
him when he opened for 3.5 Megabytes at the Casa. Since then, numerous
locals have been howling for his blood. Accused of misogyny, madness,
inciting hatred and perpetrating the vilest music ever, Mike Gee, a
product of Côte-St-Luc just wants to set the record straight.
The interview below provides a valuable lesson about giving people enough
rope to hang themselves.