Hail to the Hedgehog!

>> Ron Jeremy discusses his illustrious career as a Porn Star

by CHRIS BARRY

Butt-ugly, overweight and the proud owner of a nine-inch penis, Ron Jeremy is unquestionably one of the leading icons of the porn industry. But he is more—so much more—and is determined that the world learn why. The subject of a new documentary, Porn Star, Jeremy—nicknamed the Hedgehog due to his abundant body hair—spoke to the Mirror while he was in Las Vegas and gave up the dirt on his celebrity obsession, his frustration with the media and the trials and tribulations of a world-class cocksmith trying to gain some credibility in the Hollywood mainstream.

Mirror: So how did Porn Star come about?

Ron Jeremy: Well, the producers were amazed with how often I got recognized and all the celebrities I’ve hung out with. But when they first approached me about doing it I told them to go fuck themselves. Man, this chocolate I’m eating is out of this world.

M: Why were you so against the idea?

RJ: Well, what good does it do me? I don’t see actors getting more work after being on E! True Hollywood Story, so I just didn’t feel like doing it. But they were on me for almost a year and then I was struck with something called Jewish guilt. You see, I had written a great treatment about a serial killer and a social worker that was getting a lot of attention from the big studios, and in the end it was the same company that was after me to do this documentary who bought it. So I felt guilty and finally said okay.

Not without my Nash Bridges

M: The film strikes me as a pretty sympathetic portrayal of you. So much so that I was wondering if you might have had approval over the final cut.

RJ: Oh no, they never would have allowed that. I just asked them to be fair. I think the film gives the impression that I’m a big fucking loser who just does porn and hopes to someday break in to the mainstream. Hey, we had a clip of me and Samuel Jackson on Jay Leno. How many porn actors get to go on The Tonight Show? But NBC wanted $9,000 (U.S.) for seven seconds of footage, so the producers didn’t want to pay to put it in the movie. All the porn stuff was free, but the mainstream clips that I wanted in there cost a fortune, so they left most of that stuff out and now, of course, I look like an ass. I’m taking the hit because those fuckers ran out of money. The only thing I really put my foot down on was my appearance on Nash Bridges. I said if you want me to promote this movie you had better keep my Nash Bridges appearance in. Show them I’ve done night-time drama on CBS! You know, I didn’t want people leaving this film thinking I’d never done anything but porn and Detroit Rock City—and that film only because the director obviously really likes me.

M: Where would you like to see yourself in 20 years?

RJ: On the cover of People magazine for my acting.

M: Do you think there will be much of a demand to watch you fuck on screen in another 20 years, when you are well into your 60s?

RJ: Hopefully there will be enough work in the mainstream for me by then. Why would I want to continue with porn?

M: I dunno, you tell me. You enjoy doing porn, no?

RJ: Well yeah, I love it. But at a certain point it no longer helps you with your career. It gets ridiculous. Not that it’s a bad thing to do, but you don’t see Robert De Niro going back to do soap operas. You wouldn’t see Marlon Brando doing television commercials for Ultra Brite toothpaste. You know, you reach a certain point in your career and to backtrack is just silly. It looks like you’re just dying to have sex with girls or something. You know, I’ve done serious theatre. I studied with Strasberg for a while before he died. I taught theatre in New Jersey. I belong to the stage union, Equity. Hell, some of the celebrities in California can’t even get in to that.

Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood

M: Do you feel that you’re misunderstood?

RJ: Well, I love how all of these magazines are always going on about Ron Jeremy’s relentless pursuit of mainstream work. You have to struggle, push, persevere. Like Barbra Streisand, she couldn’t do anything until her husband got her a job. And look at her now. Every celebrity has a story like this. They’ve all pushed just as hard as me.

M: Any of your porn films that you’re particularly proud of?

RJ: San Fernando Jones and the Temple of Poon is a recent one that I think I’m pretty good in. Sometimes I’ll be watching one of my movies on the Spice channel and see myself with some gorgeous girl and think, “Wow, I actually got her, didn’t I? Oh boy!”

M: Any films that you’re embarrassed about?

RJ: I cringe when I see the clip from Suzy Superstar that they put in the documentary. Oooh, it makes me want to cry when I see that stuff. There are some others that make me cringe, I suppose. Like the old lady scenes I’ve done, or the fat chick videos. But I guess they’re kind of funny.

M: How do you deal with the situation of being on set and having to fuck an actress you simply can’t stand—either physically or on a personal level?

RJ: You have to work extra hard. This is what makes you a professional porn actor. You have to leave her, go to the bathroom, close your eyes, fantasize and use your right hand. Get a raging boner going and then run back on to the set and yell, “Roll, shoot! Shoot!” quick while it lasts.

M: Hey, this whole “No sex with animals or Ron Jeremy” clause that some actresses are rumoured to be insisting upon these days, doesn’t that hurt your feelings a bit?

RJ: I don’t think it’s an actual clause. Where did you hear that, anyway? Sure, there are girls who prefer a young muscular boy, but there are girls who prefer me too. If every girl on the planet walked away from me then maybe it would bother me. But that doesn’t happen. You’ve got to take a walk on the street with me some time and see the reaction I get.

M: Do you ever masturbate to your own movies?

RJ: [pause] No.

M: Why, is that too weird?

RJ: Yeah.

M: One of the things that has made you a cultural icon is your ability to administer fellatio on yourself. But I understand you only did that once in one film. Does it bug you that people always ask you about it?

RJ: No. I’ve gotten a few good jokes from it though. Like, I always do it with a rubber because I don’t know where it’s been. Or, I always give myself a wrong phone number afterwards. But remember, I’ve never sucked myself to completion.

Star power

M: You obviously hold the concept of celebrity in high regard. Do you ever get snubbed by famous people you admire because of your porn legacy?

RJ: Not too often. Lisa Marie Presley was pretty cold to me, as was Rosanna Arquette and Katey Sagal from Married With Children. I held out my hand to her and she just walked away disgusted. She does that to all the people from the porn world, you know. It’s because she used to sing in the church choir. But you’d be surprised at how many celebrities spot me first and come up to introduce themselves. I love it, it’s great. You want to know some celebrities who have come up to me and said they were fans of mine? I’ve never told anyone else this. Do you want to know who?

M: Um, I guess so.

RJ: Billy Joel, Sting, uh, that famous singer, what’s her name?

M: Tiffany?

RJ: No. Uh, Patti Lupone, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Mandy Patinkin from Evita. You know him, right?

M: Sure, awesome.

RJ: Tony Curtis.

M: Is it just me or is something not right up in Tony Curtis’s head?

RJ: No, no, Tony Curtis is great. He loves being famous.

M: I think he’d be happier if he finally came out of the closet.

RJ: Nah, nah, you’ve got it wrong. He’s got a tall, gorgeous blonde wife, beautiful big boobies.

M: Oh well, okay then. I stand corrected.

RJ: And oh, oh! Dave Matthews came running over to me at a VH1 party and told me I was the only person there that he wanted to meet! If you look at my Web site, ronjeremy.com, you’ll see I have over 100 pictures of myself with famous people. Brad Pitt, Robin Williams—you’ve got to see it. It’s free too!

M: Still, in spite of all your celebrity liaisons, do you feel Hollywood might discriminate against you somewhat?

RJ: Oh yeah, definitely. I can’t do nationwide commercials, or any movies with Disney. A lot of prime time TV shows won’t hire me because they might lose affiliates. But, to be honest, my porn reputation has helped me as well. Some of the more hip, young, renegade film producers are more than happy to use me. You know, the thing I want to say to all these directors who cut me out of the chase because of my porn work is, “Hey, if you hate porn so much, you should be happy that you have an actor here who wants to elevate himself to a higher plateau. If you hate the business so much because you’re a born again Christian or because your wife thinks I’m a fat ugly pig, why wouldn’t you want to help get me out of it and allow me to rise to a higher level? Why do you want to keep me in it if you hate it so much?” But you want to know something? I’ve tried this approach before and it makes no difference, it doesn’t work. :

Porn Star opens at the Cinéma du Parc
on Friday, March 8