>>> february 7, 2002
Odour in the court

Gabriel Bruno describes it as “a joke that went bad.” The incident that toppled the 64-year-old Providence, Rhode Island deputy sheriff from grace started when someone failed to flush the toilet in a judge’s chamber. To make light of the situation, Bruno says, he bought some fake poo and secretly deposited two phony loads—one atop a judge’s toilet and another in a second judge’s sink. This sparked an official investigation.

Bruno claims he confessed immediately, and was shocked when charges of vandalism were filed against him. To add to the insult, the charges did not specify that the feces were fake.

The evidence having been thrown out by the joke’s victims, Bruno pointed out that he could claim it was “cotton candy and they’d have to believe” him, but would rather clear his name legitimately.

“If you want to call me a thief that’s one thing,” said Bruno. “But to say I defecated in sinks, that’s something else.” :

—Scott Saxon