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This week: Mike Gee, Miss Kittin, Wedge 211, tiny women! Plus: Jake Brown causes negative reaction!!
“edited”
by AL SOUTH
M I just wanted to say that I shelled out $20 to see Miss Kittin and her little Hacker at SAT and it really sucked. First of all, they make you wait 20 minutes outside and then once you get in, the lady tells you that there aren’t any COAT RACKS left to get your coat. I had to wait for the whole show inside with my coat on and then I got only about nine songs from Miss Kittin. It really sucks. I have one thing to say to the many suckers of the night: suck my dick and lick my ass. [BLEEP!] M Hey, man, this is (someone claiming to be) Scotty D from Wedge 211 and I just wanna let all of Montreal know that if you think punk rock is dead in Montreal, you should come out and see Wedge 211. We’re launching our CD/EP “This Bus Don’t Stop ’til Dorval” February 26 in Ste-Anne-de-Bellevue for all the real skater punks out there. Come check out Wedge 211. Rock on, man. Pull an ollie! [BLEEP!] M Hey, Rant Line™. I was gonna call up and bitch about that guy who suggests that $116 is too much to pay for local musicians. Maybe he wants to think about the fact that it costs DRUMMERS 50 bucks or more in taxis just to get their gear to and from a club. But, hey, maybe $116 is way too much to pay for a musician, after all. But then I saw the really, really hot thing about that chick who wants two guys to come over and fuck her brains out because she was watching Mary Tyler Moore reruns on TV, and, uh, I was wondering what channel that show is on now? [BLEEP!] M I like the music scene and I was just wondering why there aren’t any locales open 24 hours selling beer where musicians could play and jam at for an hour and a half, but nobody gets fucking DRUNK. It’s just like a show for 24 hours. Think about it. [BLEEP!] M This is (sounds like) DJ Envy. I’m hoping maybe you guys can help me out. I’m trying to get my hands on Jamie DiSalvio and, unfortunately, since he’s been back in town, he’s got no communication system. So maybe if you guys could put a shout out to Jamie to show up at GoGo any Thursday between five and nine, we can finish biz. [BLEEP!] M Hey, I know who Stu-Pository is. He’s the infamous Toronto raconteur and performance artist who ran private parties and organized games of CREAMO. You turn the lights off and the first one to yell Creamo wins. [BLEEP!] F I just heard that Stu-Pository is coming. Finally, something exciting. It doesn’t surprise me that Jake Brown hasn’t heard of Stu-Pository. That just proves what a passé PECKERHEAD he is. [BLEEP!] M Ah, Jake Brown, you fuck. What are we gonna do with you? Stu-got a problem? Stu-pository? Listen up, Jake Brown, we’re the Stugats and I would like to hear what you have to say about that, you fucking big baby fag fuck. Brown like shit, fuck. [BLEEP!] F Angelina and Billy Bob, if you’re out there, let’s have a THREESOME. Canadians do it better. Woohoo! [BLEEP!] M Yeah, this is for that guy who was looking for GOD. I heard he moved out into that huge apartment building or condo building on Côte-des-Neiges near the Boulevard, the Gleneagles. But they have really big security so if you wanna meet him, you better call first. [BLEEP!] M Yeah, this has to do with the person looking for God. I don’t know where he is but I’m just calling to say if you do find out, please don’t tell him where I am. He’s been trying to kill me. I’m 37 and he’s been trying to kill me since I was about six. So right now I’m hiding in my aunt’s basement but don’t tell anyone, okay? Bye. [BLEEP!] M Hey, I was just calling to say that I was checking out this Web site called sexy-midgets.com and, let me tell you something, tiny women are super hot. I just wanna know if there’s anywhere in Montreal where I could meet some of these little women. Tiny women are hot! [BLEEP!]
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