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Fido’s feces are brown gold for South Shore entrepreneur
by CHRIS BARRY
 Name:
Danny Fredette
Nickname:
D Boy
Age: 25
Salary: Approximately
$25 an hour.
Bio: This excitable straight-edge Châteauguay resident
opted to abandon his burgeoning plumbing career last year in order to
stake his claim in the dog shit removal industry. “I woke up one
day and realized that I didn’t want to be a plumber for the rest
of my life. Plumbing is a shitty job.” For a small fee, his company,
Poop Patrol, will come to your home once or twice a week to scoop Poochie’s
doodoo up from your yard. Picking up an estimated 100 pounds of shit
every week, Danny says he absolutely adores his work and, God willing,
hopes to be shovelling shit for the rest of his life.
Does it require
a lot of training to become a dog shit cleaner? Not really. “But
I’m a perfectionist and I always really want to do a good job.
That’s the most important thing.”
The tools of his trade: A bunch of plastic bags and a stainless steel
poop scooper that he designed himself. “It’s much better than
the plastic consumer ones you can buy. In the winter I use a shovel
so I can dig if the poo is stuck in ice.”
Something that can really rain hard on Danny’s parade: Diarrhea.
“But if I find a lot of it I tell my customers that they need to
do something about their dog’s diet. Diarrhea is disgusting.”
What kind of a lazy fuck hires out to have somebody clean up after their
dog? Danny says there is no one definitive profile for his customers.
“Some customers are just totally grossed out by poo, and others
simply don’t have the time. I’m presently doing a market study
to find out what kind of people are prepared to pay for my services.”
How he conducts his market research: Danny spends a lot of his
time at supermarkets, dog runs, pet shops, etc, stopping people and
asking them to answer his list of 15 questions on the subject of dog
poop and its disposal. “It can be pretty hard doing market research
sometimes.”
Are lonely housewives always trying to get it on with the dog shit man?
Not really.
How to contact
him:
By phone: 983-7668
or through www.pooppatrol.ca.
Best part of
the job: Being his own boss.
Worst: Collecting
his fee from delinquent customers.
Something he
hopes to do soon: Design and build his own house.
Hobbies:
Scuba diving, cross-country skiing.
A recent film
he really loved: The Lord of the Rings.
Last book read:
Danny says he has never read a book but is thinking about reading one
soon—a how-to book on accounting.
Something else
he does: Plays guitar and sings in an as-yet-unnamed Top 40 band.
His guitar:
A 1979 American-made Stratocaster.
Musical preferences:
Rage Against the Machine, Genesis, Primus.
The artists
who inspired him to start playing guitar: Harmonium, Daniel Bélanger.
Words of wisdom:
“Think positive. If you work at something and you believe in it,
it is going to happen.” :
Comments? dimwit@openface.ca
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