One dead cool car dude

>> Hearse rental operator and toy collector gets sexy and infantile in deathmobile

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Michel Cyr

Nickname: Wax

Age: 38

Occupation: Hearse rental operator and toy broker.

Salary: A little more than pocket change.

Bio: This enigmatic Brossard stud has been collecting and renting out his four strong fleet of hearses since 1984 and attributes his interest in the cars to growing up in "a funeral environment"-- his uncles were all undertakers, his grandfather a vicar, he lived across the street from a funeral home, and there was a company that used to make coffins in the yard behind his childhood home. His prize cars are a 1938 Cadillac Lasalle and a 1936 Oldsmobile, which he rents primarily to film production companies and kids really looking to make a splash at their Halloween parties. When not chauffeuring renters around in his rock 'n' roll undertaker garb, Michel is busy wheeling and dealing in the toy trade, buying and selling "cool" vintage toys through his Web site at

www.ciatris.qc.ca/hotwheels and at the toy conventions he occasionally promotes.

Is a hearse a chick magnet? Yes and no. "Girls either want to go and have sex in the back or they don't want to get in it at all because they're concerned about bad spirits."

Do people ever ask to rent his hearses so they can have sex in it? All the time. "But I never rent to these people. I don't want to be cleaning up other people's spunk."

Has he ever shot his own load in the back of one of his vehicles? Many times.

Does he ask his sexual partners to lie perfectly still, and, if they wouldn't mind, to stand outside in the cold for awhile first? No.

Is the hearse a heat magnet? Not so much anymore. "The cops used to harass me a lot in the '80s but maybe they've found better things to do with their time these days. Besides, they probably all recognize me now and know that I'm not a criminal or anything."

Are any of his cars haunted? "Of course not. Nobody ever died in any of my cars. Everybody was already dead before riding in them."

The number of toys he currently has in his basement: Over 2,000.

The best places to pick up cool vintage toys: Flea markets, church bazaars, garage sales. "All the obvious places."

His favourite toy: A Hot Wheels "Classic Cord."

Another one of his favourite toys: A Hot Wheels hearse.

Is toy-collecting primarily a male thing? Yes.

Do other collectors ever call him up to see if he would like to come over and play Dinkies with them? No.

Does he spend a lot of time lying on the floor actually playing with his toys? No.

Where he hangs out: Café Chaos, Safir.

Something else he does: Plays rock 'n' roll and collects vintage guitars.

Childhood ambition: To become an undertaker.

Last book read: Johnny Thunders... In Cold Blood, by Nina Antonia.

Musical preferences: Johnny Thunders, Dead Boys, the Stooges, Hanoi Rocks.

Film preferences: The old Hammer horror films with Christopher Lee.

Favourite film of all time: Nosferatu

Philosophy: "Make sure your first ride in a hearse is not your last."

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca