Grilled!

>> Interrogating the Grill DJs T'Cha and Bliss

by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

Cuddly T'Cha and cranky Bliss--the good cop/bad cop of Montreal's funky breakbeat scene--host the weekly Grill soirées at Blizzarts. Now they're dropping a mix CD, Funkface, that captures the spirit of the night. The Mirror caught wind of this and decided to turn the tables on these turntable terrors, giving them the third degree with "a few friendly questions."



Mirror: On Funkface, you've included the song "We Badd!" by Freddy Fresh. Do you consider yourself to be "badd"? Is this an admission of criminal intent on your part? Answer me!

T'Cha: Holy! Calm down, Rupert, calm down. We're sorry. The song is an admission of guilt. Yes, we have done some "badd" things. We're not proud. We repent. Whatever. Just calm down.

Bliss: You've answered the question yourself! You've listened to this thing and your question is the measure of the impact it's had on your brain! So why don't you take that as an admission! Criminal intent to open up your mind, punk!

M: The song "Pusherman" is also included. Are you now or have you ever been a pusherman?

T: No, no, heck no. I've never pushed anybody. I'd rather know a shover than a pusher 'cuz a pusher's a jerk. Pushing is mean. Peace.

B: Yes, and I still am! I can hook you up with a 12", LP, 45, CD, mixtape, whatever, any day of the week! Judging by what I see on top of your stereo system, you're in need of some fresh tunes, boy!

M: The song "Red Hot Car" by Squarepusher--another pusherman!--soon follows. So grand theft auto is also among your criminal activities, is it?

T: Alright, Rupe, baby, I know how this looks. Man, we didn't steal that car. We borrowed it. How were we supposed to know it was hot? Squarepusher's a nice guy, but he's a geek, a total square, not cool like you. We never thought he was a car thief (tears welling up). And now we're implicated. My mom's gonna kill me.

B: T'Cha, pull yourself together! Let me handle this. (turns to Mirror writer) It's a song about a man's love for the world! Something you will probably never experience, fool!

M: There's also "Lift Your Fist," by Guru & the Roots, in there. Are we to interpret this as a tacit approval of assault and battery?

B: I can't take this anymore! It's a protest song! Like the kind of protest I'm gonna make if you don't stop asking silly questions! (storms off)

T: Rupert, buddy, I understand what you're getting at, and I just want you to know I'm on your side. Whatever happens, I'm behind you 100 per cent. But my partner, he has a different way of seeing things--

M: The most damning evidence lies in the inclusion of "We Have Explosive" by FSOL, indicating your involvement in destructive, anarchist activities. What do say to that?

T: Shhhh! Rupert, are you crazy, man? Not so loud! Man, I'm being cool here, but if Bliss walks in and hears you talking that crazy talk, you're in big trouble, dude. Geez!

B: (returns, pissed, having obviously overheard) Man, you guys never get it! Where they train you, you monkey?! The song means we're here to blow the whole joint up! You know, rock the party with the bomb tracks!

CD launch at Blizzarts tonight, Thursday, Dec. 13, 10pm, free