Hell on earth

>> With two very bad plays, An Evening in Hell lives up to its name

by AMY BARRATT

To paraphrase Maria in The Sound of Music: Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something very, very bad. Otherwise why did I deserve to sit through the aptly titled An Evening in Hell, at McGill Players Theatre? The two plays, Tourist and Exile, and Baroness Medea at the Gates of Hell, are reminiscent of the bad old days of the Montreal Fringe, when 90 per cent of the content was just horrible.

I'm struggling to understand how so many smart, talented people allowed themselves to become involved with this unfortunate project.

Tourist and Exile, by Anna Fuerstenberg, is not a play. There's not one line in it that naturally follows the line before. There's not one moment where you believe that these two characters could be real people having a conversation, instead of actors trying to remember lines that make no sense.

The plot seemed kind of promising (and I quote from the press release): "Ellen, a lifestyles columnist, finds herself on assignment in war-torn Central America with a member of the Revolutionary army. He has just been shot. Their fate lies in her carefully manicured hands." Unfortunately, having read that, you now know the only interesting plot twist in the play. It's only supposed to come out halfway through that Ellen (Rebecca Singh) is not used to covering hard news.

Brian Wrench as a Latin American revolutionary is a casting stretch, but he does actually succeed in making you forget that this is the On the Spot improv guy.

Tourist and Exile is like one of those soap opera plot lines where the characters find themselves in a jungle setting, ostensibly in great danger, but the dialogue is still all about their love lives. On opening night, the actors, especially Singh, were as unsure of their lines as any soap actor with, sadly, not a teleprompter in sight.

The only possible hope for this sincere text--and I'm dubious--would be to turn it into a broad comedy. Make it a parody of a soap with Ellen as a princess in high heels and the revolutionary as a brawny Latin lover type. You could probably even sneak in your revolutionary politics without sounding didactic and patronizing.

Baroness Medea is a stupid but cute idea for a fringe play: the sorceress from Greek tragedy somehow morphs into the Baroness from The Sound of Music. Upon her death, her adjudicator at the gates of hell turns out to be the Marquis de Sade. Singh is more successful as Medea than as the reporter in the first piece, and Wrench gets to let loose here, playing five roles including the Marquis. He's having so much fun you could almost forget that the play is pointless. Almost.

Genevieve Lizotte's costumes and set and Lara Goldenberg's lighting are appropriately hellish.

Last week, before seeing this show, I recommended it on the strength of the cast and crew. This week I have to report that no creative team could save these two un-playable plays.

Criminal minds

Yet another group of soon-to-be Concordia grads has formed a company. Renegade Productions is doing George F. Walker's Criminal Genius, one of three plays in Walker's Suburban Motel series, all set in the same motel room. This one features father and son criminals and a kidnapped woman who turns out to be more than they bargained for. At Calixa-Lavallée, Dec. 11-16, 8 p.m. (Dec. 16, 2 p.m. matinée). Info: 815-8070.

An Evening in Hell, Thurs-Sat, to Dec. 8, 8pm at Players Theatre, 845-6062