Putting the "odd" in "odd job"

>> Dishwasher, housepainter and PM-hopeful feels swindled by Oprah

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Brannon Carty

Nickname: Buck

Occupation: Dishwasher/housepainter

Salary: $8 an hour as a dishwasher, $5 an hour as a housepainter.

Age: Around 35 years old.

Bio: This handsome Verdun resident and gentle hustler has been washing dishes part-time at Bistro Baroque on Ste-Catherine W. for the past eight months. Working only 22 hours a week, Buck supplements his income as best he can by painting apartments for "a friend," and the occasional customer who responds to his "Jobs Wanted" ad in the classifieds. Although "it can be a struggle just to get by," this committed Anglican churchgoer has developed excellent budgeting skills over the years and manages to survive by living a Spartan lifestyle.

Which of his two occupations he finds the most satisfying: Housepainting.

Has he ever been ripped off on a housepainting job? "Yes, but it doesn't happen very often. I'm a big black guy and people tend to just see the stereotype and are scared to mess with me."

Has he ever been painting some millionaire's house and come to the conclusion that life just isn't fair? Yes. "But I'm not hung up on money so I try not to dwell on these things."

How he spends his spare time: Writing. Mostly letters to celebrities and media institutions.

One celebrity/media institution Brannon is currently dismayed with: Oprah Winfrey. Brannon firmly believes that Oprah stole his idea to launch a magazine from letters he had written her a couple of years ago. "I plan on suing her for $4-billion."

One lawyer Brannon phones regularly who isn't very sympathetic to his Oprah case: Johnny Cochrane. "His stupid secretary keeps telling me he only takes on murder cases--but I know it's not true."

Something else Brannon has written: An autobiography called Foster Home, which focuses primarily on his experience growing up in a series of Quebec foster homes in the 1960s.

Something that brings him pleasure: Playing with his dog Cutthatout, a four-year-old golden retriever/labrador mutt.

The best part of his dishwashing gig: His co-workers. "They understand me and I've opened myself up to them, allowing myself to be understood."

Has he spent a lot of time in jail? A little, "but not for anything serious."

Has he ever been diagnosed as mentally ill? No.

Somebody Brannon claims spoke to him from his television set: Regis Philbin.

Childhood ambition: To become Prime Minister of Canada

Current ambition: To become Prime Minister of Canada

Last book read: Titans, by Peter C. Newman.

Something Brannon likes to do: Watch television. "You could say that I've basically been educated by television. If they'd had a TV in the class when I was growing up I'd probably be a genius right now." He is particularly fond of educational shows.

Musical preferences: Michael Jackson, Diana Ross, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin.

Where he likes to do his drinking: At home.

Cologne: Aqua Velva, Old Spice.

Words of wisdom: "If you believe, you can do anything. But if you're determined, you probably will.":

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca