This week: Gentrification, the robot work force, skunks!

Plus: Musicians demand to be less cool!!

"edited" by AL SOUTH
sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT

F

This rant is concerning the girl who wants to break to hip hop. Just in case you didn't catch the point of the word BREAKDANCE, you're supposed to be dancing to break. If people here are actually dancing to break, you should be commending them--you moved here a month ago, you'll soon see that people here don't really know anything about the history of breakdancing and, for your information, break is hip hop. So you maybe want to fit that into your little category of what you think hip hop is. If you don't break to breaks, then you're not a breaker. Maybe you should check out some FOUNDATION or stuff like that and start learning your shit. In the meantime, if you're looking for some places to break to hip hop, you should go to Safir on Thursday nights, Blue Dog on Saturday nights, Tokyo on Tuesday nights. [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

M

I got a rant for you. I rent a locale at Cité 2000. I'm in a band and we pay $400 a month for this locale. There have to be at least a hundred locales in that place, which means this new owner guy makes $40, 000 a month on the musicians in this city. And he's not giving us any HEAT. I just phoned the place and they told me that we won't have any heat until November 9 or 10. So we're freezing in this place. I wish the asshole would get his act together and give us a bit of heat, man. [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

M

This goes out to the guy who's pissed off about Montreal nightclubs. It seems that your frustration stems from being too BROKE to enjoy the bar scene and too UGLY to pick up the ladies like I do. Have you ever thought about just staying the fuck home? There'd be one less player for me to deal with. And I'm guessing that the women you refer to as little sluts are actually the same chicks who turned you down all night. [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

M

To whoever was wondering what's going to be where Jailhouse used to be. You can be pretty fucking sure it's not gonna be a punk rock club, what with the Subway and Tim Horton's and all that shit. They re-zoned the whole area for condos and I don't think the yuppies are gonna wanna hear punk rock. You can thank Bourque for the gentrification because where there used to be punk rock, yuppies rule the day. That's all I'm gonna say. [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

M

I'd just like to say something about all the bias going on in the world right now against the ROBOT WORK FORCE. Man, now that robots are starting to work in stores as cashiers, everybody's up in arms about it. Over 66 per cent of people, young and old, Gen-Xers and senior citizens, they're just against robots. It's the same thing with clones. Well, I think we should welcome the robots and clones into our society. Whether you have one parent, seven parents or none, regardless if you were born with a soul, I think we can all just live together in harmony. I even think if a CAT came up to me and the cat could speak French or English and could work at a coffee stand, I'd give the cat a social insurance card and maybe even a driver's license. I think I've made my point. [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

M

It's time for contraband cigarettes. [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

M

For the girl who was wondering why there has to be a Gay Olympics and why there is a Gay Village. The fact is we have been discriminated against for a long time now. And as for the Village, when a boy can kiss a boy on the dance floor at Thursday's without getting his face punched in, I guess there won't be a need for the Gay Village anymore. Peace. [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

F

Yeah, this is for the idiot girl who wants to know why gay people need an Olympics. Why don't you just lick your best friend's pussy, get it over with and stop worrying about what other people are doing in the world? [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

F

I like playing cards. I don't know how to play euchre but I'm smart so I could learn. Plus, I know this really cool game if you're patient enough to learn the rules. But how am I supposed to get in touch with you? Maybe go to the Second Cup on Milton and Parc on Saturday, Nov. 10 and start playing cards so I can tell who you are. Okay? Bye. [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

M

Yeah, what the fuck's the deal with all the SKUNKS? They're fucking everywhere. My dog got fucked up by one, thinking it was a cat. They're fucking walking in pairs like they're forming GANGS and shit. Fuck anthrax, man. You have a better chance of getting sprayed than getting fucking anthraxed. These fucking things are all over, walking around like they fucking own the place. Tremblay, get your ass in gear and get rid of the skunks! My girlfriend thinks they're cute but it ain't cute when you gotta pay $30 for tomato juice. Fucking shit. [BLEEP!] [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum