Hamm sandwich

>> Canned Hamm are eager to "entain" you

by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

Chances are you've never seen a Canned Hamm performance (or heard their boss CD Karazma!), and they've probably never seen you either. But know this right now: the dynamic duo of Big and Little Hamm have set the controls for the heart of your, uh, heart. Fusing together elements of Casio-tronic karaoke, Vaudeville, burlesque and thoughtfully selected fashion, these Vancouver tag-teamers are on the vanguard of "entainment," a vivid and sincere pastime principle for the new millennium.

Mirror: Big Hamm, tell me in your words what the word "entainment" means.

Big Hamm: It's a concept put together by the people at Pro-Am Entainment International, our label. It comes out of entertainment. We're in a new millennium, the English language evolves and words get shorter--things have to be easier for people. The kids are very hip today, they want catchwords they can say very fast. There's one less syllable in there.

M: So what does the Canned Hamm brand of entainment involve?

BH: Song and dance--happy songs. It's happy music, but it comes from our souls, from our emotional scars. As Little Hamm likes to say, our scars are shaped like happy smiles. It's, uh, just, um--what do you think, Little Hamm?

Little Hamm: Aw, I think lots of good things.

BH: Yeah, I know. That's the idea of Canned Hamm, to come out and entain people. We do it through song and dance, through exciting outfits, there's a little burlesque in there--

LH: We've added new elements to our outfits. Some prefer to streamline, we'd rather maximalize. We have new hats.

M: Let's talk about karaoke. Not only do you have a song called "Karaoke Lady," but your bio says that karaoke was the glue that originally bonded Canned Hamm together. Now, it bothers me that karaoke is treated as a joke on our shores, rather than being invested with the heartfelt sincerity that one gets from, say, a drunk, middle-aged Asian dad.

LH: Karaoke is the great equalizer. Anyone can do it, and that way you get a greater variety of entainment. Sometimes you'll be surprised and even moved, to laughter or to tears. Usually, I find it moves me to a certain grey area where I'm not sure if it's tears or laughter.

M: That's a beautiful place to be.



Borderline cases

BH: Karaoke is very important to us. Our tour started in Seattle, and the first thing we did, the night before our first show, we went out to do some karaoke to warm up. It's how we practice and get inspired.

LH: I went up and sang "Man in Motion," from the St. Elmo's Fire soundtrack--

M: Right on!

LH: Um, yeah. We did a lot of thinking about that song. It's an intense song, very emotional, but ultimately it means nothing, when taken on its own. You realize that it was conceived by David Foster to fulfil two needs, that of the soundtrack and that of a Rick Hansen theme song. He was the guy in a wheelchair who carried on from Terry Fox. I believe it was also used for Expo '86, so it may actually have fulfilled three needs. I think that's the song that got us through Customs--

BH: I think so.

M: Are you often asked to perform at Customs? I mean, with that 'stache of yours, there, Big Hamm, you're probably often mistaken for a biker bro' running crystal meth.

BH: We crossed over at Niagara Falls last night and got stopped by U.S. Immigration. The feller took one look at me and pulled us over. He looked through our trunk and found our robes and wigs and says, "Okay, what's the real story here? Do you guys dress in women's clothing? What?" We said the wigs were for a song, and right there and then, we sang him "Get a Hairpiece." Then he was, like, "How can I get involved?"

LH: Now he's Customs Hamm, so he'll be searching everyone at the show--searching for love.

M: The idea of Customs Hamm going around giving intimate inspections falls in with an important part of your show, interaction with the audience--

BH: Ideally, we'd like to meet every single person in the audience and get to know them on a personal basis. We try to get a personal rapport going on with everyone. We want to touch everyone there, figuratively and literally.

M: That ties in to the burlesque segment of your show. Little Hamm, why don't you pick up the ball on this one.

LH: One of the things with entainment is that there are certain elements, certain aspects of the grand scheme of things that never go out of style. What you can always add is your own personal wrinkle, and that's essentially what it is--our wrinkles shown for the audience. It never gets out of hand--we do try to be a PG-13 act. So the swimsuit area always remains covered. It's very tasteful. :

With Bobby Conn at la Sala Rossa on Thursday, Nov. 8, 9pm, $10