Stuff it

>> Taxidermist will make still art of almost any dead animal, including people, as long as it's nice and legal

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: John Mathai

Nickname: The Birdman

Age: 42

Occupation: Taxidermist

Bio: This high-flying St-Laurent resident and former factory worker has been stuffing birds, reptiles, fish and other game animals for 18 years. A talented artist, John decided to develop his taxidermy skills after finding himself consistently disappointed with the way others were stuffing his birds. Today, his company, the Wings of Autumn, has a reputation of being the finest animal stuffers in town. A painter, sculptor and musician, John was an avid punk rock fan back in the 1970s and used to play keyboards in several local garage bands.

Do many people ask him to stuff their dead pets? Yes, but John won't do it. "I think it's a sick thing when someone has a cat or dog who dies and they bring it here to be mounted. Bury it in your backyard or something. Don't stuff it and put it on top of your television. That's sick."

Has anybody ever asked him to stuff their spouse or recently deceased child? More often than you'd think. "You'd be surprised at how many fucked-up people are out there."

The legalities involved in stuffing grandpa's head and mounting his smiling mug on the wall in your trophy room: "The person you want to mount has to put down in writing that they want to be mounted after they die. That's the way they do it in Europe. Some people want to be frozen, some cremated, some choose to get buried and others want to be plastified and mounted. Everybody has their thing, I guess."

On trophy hunting: "Trophy hunting is for rich people who go off on safaris in Africa and stuff. You see less and less of that these days, which is good. Sure, there are still some assholes who go out in the woods just for the sake of killing something, but not as many as before."

Do people come in very often with bald eagles or other endangered species and ask him to stuff them? "Oh no, that's illegal."

Musical preferences: Nirvana, Tragically Hip, The Clash, the Sex Pistols.

Childhood ambition: To play hockey for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

One place you might find him drinking: The Cartierville Pub.

Something he has that most other people don't have: A developed sixth sense. "I know when good things are going to happen and I know when the bad is coming as well. I can tell from the ringing in my ears." John says things also come to him in dreams.

Hobbies: Going out into the bush, alone, and living for weeks at a time on two or three days' rations. " I don't get lonely. It kind of puts things into perspective."

Favourite television show: NYPD Blue.

A recent film he liked: The Thin Red Line.

Last book read: Confederates in the Attic, by Tony Horwitz.

Words of wisdom: "What goes around comes around."

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca