Gas mask mania

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by Chris Barry

In keeping with continent-wide trends, local Army surplus storeowners are reporting a siege on their remaining inventory of gas masks and chemical-weapons suits since the 9-11 events in New York and Washington. The Canadian army-issue C4 and C2 gas masks, which prior to the attacks sold for approximately $30, are now selling for up to a whopping $149 as nervous Yanks flock over the border in droves to pilfer our city's remaining stock of consumer military supplies. "I expect to be completely sold out of gas-mask filters in the next day or two," Jack Moloughney of International Surplus on St-Laurent told the Mirror earlier this week. "We're not trying to gouge our customers but wholesalers have jacked up their prices as much as 100 per cent."

Regardless of the fact that the appropriate NBC filters (Nuclear, Biological, Chemical) are only effective for an average of eight hours and that, in order to protect oneself from a biological attack, one would need to be wearing the sporty-looking gas masks 24/7, panicked civilians are clearly sparing no expense in their efforts to protect themselves from that nasty no-goodnik Osama bin Laden and his potentially anthrax-dusting buddies. In the U.S., the same surplus Canadian gas masks are currently selling for $235. There are no signs that demand will decrease any time soon.