Men in torment

>> Politicians snub group aiming to stop cycle of abuse, separation and suicide

by KRISTIAN GRAVENOR

Nearly four men kill themselves every day in Quebec. Many, perhaps half of those, are men tormented by depression after separating from their wife and children, says Gordon Sawyer, head of the Office of Fathers' Rights. Yet in spite of "Quebec's suicide epidemic," as he calls it, politicians refuse to address the problem. "I get calls every week from men threatening to kill themselves or their wives," says Sawyer. "I don't know what to do with them." What Sawyer would like to do is refer them to a special home for men in crisis. But he can't because there are none.

Sawyer believes that alienation pushes many men into a cycle of drugs and alcohol or gambling that all too often ends in suicide. The provincial coroner recommended the creation of a home for such men in 1992 and again in 1997. Sawyer advocates it as a result of personal experience. The 44-year-old father of three was a well-known Radio-Canada TV sports broadcaster when his wife charged him with battery. He suddenly found himself--as all men so accused--spending the night in jail. After subsequent separation and alienation from his family, he fell into a spiral of depression and drug and booze abuse, and was fired from his job of 12 years. He was recently acquitted of all five charges of conjugal violence and last week agreed to an out-of-court settlement from the CBC, which he had sued for wrongful dismissal.

Sawyer then sought to aid others in such difficulty but quickly learned that suffering men isn't near the top of any politician's list of priorities. According to his calculations, women's groups receive $50-million a year in provincial grants while eight men's groups have to split $50,000. Federally, he says, women get $178-million while men's groups get $100,000. Women suffering family crises have access to 200 homes in the province, men none. But his attempts to redress some of these imbalances hit a brick wall. "I couldn't get support," he says. "Politicians told me that they couldn't get elected if they didn't have the women's movement on their side."

So Sawyer stopped eating on May 21. He said he wouldn't resume until politicians agreed to set up a parliamentary committee on the status of men and provide $500,000 to start a home for men in crisis. Thirty-seven days--and 35 pounds--later, he was persuaded to end his hunger strike by supporters and others, including two female senators, who promised to help the cause. Claude Baillargeon, a special advisor to Mayor Bourque, promised him the Rachel Street building now occupied by the Overdale squatters. But the city backed out of the deal. "I can't figure out why they went back on their promise," says Sawyer. "Maybe they were pressured by Quebec not to give it." Bourque administration reps failed to return calls concerning the building.

"Right now there is no crisis-type centre where a father who's kicked out of his house can go and get lodging," says Sawyer's lawyer, John T. Pepper Jr. "These men are suddenly out on the street with two green garbage bags. We want to start a centre where they can go for 24 or 48 hours to get their sea legs. Without that, some of these episodes will continue to end peacefully and others end in turmoil."