This week: Pocket spiders, sexist pricks, glowsticks!

Plus: Gay village turns straight man gay!!

"edited" by AL SOUTH
sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT

M

I have no problem with straight clubs opening up in the Village, but you know what? Have some respect when you come down there. I don't want to hear the word FAG out of one more straight person one more time in the Village. It's our space, it's a QUEER SPACE. It's supposed to be a safe space and people coming down there with bad attitudes doesn't make it very safe. That's it. Peace, man. [BLEEP!]

M

Yeah, this is to respond to the gay guy in the Gay Village not wanting straight people to go there. Well, I was a straight guy until I ended up coming to the Gay Village and, let me tell you, you guys turned me on. You guys made me a HOMOSEXUAL. [BLEEP!]

M

Hey everyone, my name's Todd. Me and my buddies were sitting around talking about what's going on with Sona and the whole GLOWSTICK situation. We're avid Sona goers and we really enjoy the glowsticks because they are part of the groove. But now it seems that no one uses them anymore. So we're just hoping that Sona's not gonna turn into some Crescent Street crowd because, you know, that would suck my ass. If anyone has any opinion on this, I would like to hear it. See ya. [BLEEP!]

F

Hey, this is in reply to the guy who wondered if Westmount Girls were getting fucked. Well, I'm a pretty Westmount Girl and yes, I am getting laid. Most of us are. So if you're hot, next time say something instead of sitting on your ass DROOLING. [BLEEP!]

F

This is in response to the guy who was wondering if all the good-looking girls were getting fucked. I'm an extremely good-looking girl who lives in Montreal and I haven't been laid in at least a month now. I haven't had a boyfriend in at least a year. And if you want to know why, then just read the rant that was published directly above yours about guys always grabbing women's asses. [BLEEP!]

M

Okay, this goes out to the guy sitting somewhere in Westmount looking at all the pretty girls. I'm watching you and I'm gonna kill you because you're SEXIST PRICK looking at girls and wanting them to fuck you. That's all you think about is girls fucking you! I bet you don't even get laid just because you're a sexist punk! A fucking capitalist punk! Sexist punk! And if I see you again looking at my girlfriend, I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna take DUCT TAPE and slap it across your mouth and beat you senseless, you sexist punk. [BLEEP!]

M

Yeah, this is for that broad who guys always try to pick up by grabbing her ass. I've been out downtown, Peel Pub, hundreds of thousands of times and I've never seen a guy try to pick up a girl by grabbing her ass. So maybe you're hallucinating or something. [BLEEP!]

M

Yeah, can someone please tell these 14-year-old girls to put on some fucking clothes? [BLEEP!]

F

Hello. I would just like to share my witnessing the most disgusting thing that I've ever seen on the 80 bus. I don't know if anyone has seen this guy before. He was pretty casual looking, but something was sewn in his pants, like a little pocket, a transparent pocket. And something was WIGGLING inside. It was a SPIDER. I certainly hope this is not a new thing that's out there to shock people. It certainly shocked me. I hope it's not something that I'll see often. And worst of all, the spider was trying to come out. This is not a joke! I'm just wondering if anyone has seen this guy before. That's all. [BLEEP!]

F

Okay, this is for the Ear Hole Guy: I believe the hole in the ear is called the ear canal. I looked up "canal" in the dictionary to help you in your quest for a definition and it said: "a tubular passage through which food or air passes in a plant or animal body." Now, it is a passage but, hopefully, air is not passing through your ear holes and all the way through your head. That's the best I can do, man. So good luck in your future quests with the ear hole. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M

For the dude who wanted to know what the hole in the ear is called. It's the external ear canal. Technically, it's not a hole because there's the TYMPANIC MEMBRANE that stops it. So, dude, external ear canal. Enjoy. Can you hear that? [BLEEP!]

F

Hi. I'd like to know if any of you ladies out there have experienced an orgasm while inserting a TAMPON? I know it's stupid but according to this guy, Chris--who I don't want to say too much about--he says that a woman can experience an orgasm with a tampon. Now, if any of you ladies out there have had this happen to you, can you, like, kind of, like, let us all know how, how you reached orgasm with a tampon? Thanks. That's all I'd like to know. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum