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>>> August 30, 2001
Sex scared Demonic: So this guy thinks that sex-crazed female demons are tracking him and trying to kill him by, y'know, lovin' him up. A self-confessed Succubus Hunter, it's hard to tell if this guy's nuts or if the site's a put-on. Hey this isn't so bad, ouch arrgh at www.succubushunter.com. Art-official intelligence: The Ink Syndicate is one of the funniest sites on the Web--provided you're not looking for funny in a Hamster dance vein. This site, run by a shady character named Patrick Runkle (represented by a bitter mascot) is home to a detailed history of Golan/Globus films (the Israeli exploitation film geniuses who brought us Breakin', Charles Bronson and two Lambada movies). But the site's real gem is the Robot Rock Critic that'll generate eerily realistic reviews and interviews based on very limited input from you, the reader. It might eventually put real rock journalists out of a job. Knock wood at www.inksyndicate.com. Michael Citrome |
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>>> August 23, 2001
Animal planet Underdeveloped: In keeping with the fast-paced nature of today's society, there's a demand for low-maintenance pets. Tamagotchi, Furby--and now, FetaPets. Unlike their virtual predecessors, FetaPets are 100 per cent organic tissue, but require even less maintenance. Why? Because they're animal fetuses preserved in a jar of formaldehyde. You can check out FetaPets at their eponymous Web site and read all the facts and info--and even order one for yourself. It's cheaper than you'd think. Get pickled at www.fetapets.com. Fishy: As bizarre and surreal as its namesake, Daliworld is an online community based on the same ideas as Napster, but instead of swapping tunes, you're swapping, well, fish. Daliworld simulates an ocean. When you join you get a number of fish that swim around on your computer and onto other computers. Strange, but soothing. Swim to www.daliworld.com for the free download. Michael Citrome |
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>>> August 16, 2001
Faking it Knowledge: Here's a really useful site: SoYouWanna will give you step-by-step instructions to dozens of activities, from the everyday (So You Wanna manage your hayfever) to the absurd (So You Wanna join the circus). All of the instructions are organized by category, and are very thorough and up to date. So next time you want to fake expert knowledge of wine or indie rock, you'll know where to turn. Be spoonfed at www.soyouwanna.com. Da chronic: Ok, we all know it's fake, but how can anyone dislike a heavily accented Asian man in a teddy-boy pomp warbling out "Nuthin' but a 'G' thang" while bouncing around in a cartoon lowrider. He's "One Loc'd Out Asian" and clearly the creation of some bored Web designer's mind, but if you like g-funk, '61 Impalas and Type-R dumptrucks, this is the site for you. You can sip on some sizurp at www.y2khai.com. Michael Citrome |
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>>> August 9, 2001
Chimp in a dress! Monkeyman: Yes, a chimpanzee in a dress will eventually open a tin can, but it'll take a while. That's what we learn from a series of scratchy '50s-era scientific films. As you watch the cute fuzzy monkey go buckwild with a screwdriver and a hammer, you have to wonder, What if she used it on the poor man's Jane Goodall in the video? Monkey around at epsych.msstate.edu/adaptive/LearningByObservation/. Emotional: The entire idea behind this site is there's Eric, this guy from California, and he conveys emotions by way of facial expressions--and takes requests for said conveyances on his Web site. So basically, he makes funny faces. You'll be skeptical about this site right up until seeing, "Not wearing pants and nobody knows but you." Then you will laugh uncontrollably. Eric conveys an emotion at www.emotioneric.com. Quickie: Have you seen the amazing crooning child? It'll give you nightmares. Visit www.eugenemirman.com. Michael Citrome |
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>>> August 2, 2001
Dude looks like a Kenny Animal cruelty: Ever see those short nature films that describe how animals survive and reproduce despite enormous adversity that in sundry ways eats them, squashes them, or kills them and lays eggs in them? If you find yourself mocking the plight of these poor endangered animals, you'll love The Pygmy Shrew, one of the animated shorts from British comedy group The Pox. Discover the natural enemies of the Pygmy Shrew and it's amazing ability to survive--and be killed in many horrible ways. Get sued by PETA at www.pox.co.uk. Coward of the county: Kenny Rogers, aka The Gambler, is one of our culture's most peculiar landmarks. Kenny's known to everyone, but does anyone really like him? As it happens, the secret behind Kenny's popularity is his army of look-alikes, now outed to everyone on MenWhoLookLikeKennyRogers, a site devoted to user-submitted photos of men, who, well, you get the idea. Know when to hold 'em at www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com. Michael Citrome |