Child's play

>> Kathleen McDonnell's Honey, We Lost the Kids argues against parental censorship of culture

by JULIET WATERS

I got a new television last week with "smart lock" parental control. I didn't want this option, but it seems to be a standard feature now. I'll never use it, but I'm going to read the instructions anyway, only because I'm worried that when my son gets old enough to figure out technology (which these days is about three) he'll program it so I won't be able to watch shows he considers boring.

It's disturbing, however, that censoring television for children is now considered a matter of course, as though enforcing ignorance is any less of a violation of human rights for children than adults. No one would consider selling books with childproof locks, despite the fact that a child will find more graphic sex in your average trade paperback than on the vast majority of TV programming. I myself leapt straight into a dog-eared copy of The Godfather, right after finishing Anne of Green Gables.

Honey, We Lost the Kids: Re-Thinking Childhood in the Multimedia Age is a breath of fresh air in the stale, neurotic rhetoric of most debates about the effect of contemporary culture on children and teenagers. In an era of excessive and needless theory on how to protect innocence, as though it were synonymous with ignorance, Kathleen McDonnell is one of the few advocates of stepping back and allowing kids their intuitive ability to navigate culture on their own. She also advances a very strong argument that the "protection" of children's souls is more often than not an insidious way of creating dependency. But more importantly, through the example of her own intelligent and thorough understanding of "kid culture" (the title of her previous book), she's an inspiration to other adults to remain curious about what kids are tuning into, instead of censorious.

McDonnell starts by exploring how this walled garden of childhood was built in the 18th to 19th centuries. She recounts how children went from full enmeshment in their parents' lives in the Middle Ages, when they often slept in the same bed and worked in the same fields or stores, to industrial times when they started to work separately in factories, or sleep and play separately in nurseries. She goes on to examine how we've returned in many ways to a time when the walls have crumbled. Where kids and their parents now enjoy the same movies (Toy Story, Babe, Shrek), read the same books (Harry Potter), watch the same TV shows (The Simpsons, and South Park, which kids list as their favourite show regardless of warnings). Where they wear the same Gap clothes, want the same brightly colored iMac, and even trade the same stocks on the Internet.

Whatever remains of a separate realm for kids is created by the fact that kids are often more technologically savvy than their parents and can easily out-manoeuvre any cultural control parents try to enforce. With the invention of cyberspace it's no longer a matter of whether parents should surrender the reigns of control over knowledge, but when they will recognize they have little choice in the matter.

McDonnell's book is less an argument than an intelligent journey through the issues and media that have been a part of raising children in the last few decades. Hers is a voice that should console anyone who feels pressured by the media to, ironically, place limits on the media--she has tremendous and well-founded faith in the echo generation. McDonnell does a credible job of arguing that despite concerns about their lack of imagination, their violence or selfishness, there's more than enough research to support the view that today's kids are more creative, less violent, more politically active and sophisticated than any previous generation.

Nevertheless, I admit when my son and I listen to the South Park soundtrack, I do skip over a few songs. It's one thing to allow your child to indulge his curiosity. I guess it's another to teach him "shut your fucking face uncle fucka" as part of his first 100 words.

Honey, We Lost the Kids: Re-thinking Childhood in the Multimedia Age by Kathleen McDonnell, Second Story Press, pb, 190pp, $18.95