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It's never too late
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Gay Montrealer comes out to mom--and he's 68!
by Matthew Hays
Chris Wilson is proof that you're never too old to take something on. Consider his last trip to Britain, when the sexagenarian visited his 97-year-old mother. The Montrealer, who has held a variety of jobs, including teacher, social worker and arts administrator, finally decided to indicate to his mother that he was indeed gay.
"My mother and I were never really all that close," says Wilson of mom, a countess who lives in central London. "But after her third husband passed away a few years ago, it became clear that she needed my help. We've become much, much closer in every regard since--except this one, and I decided it was time to change that."
Wilson, a motorcycle enthusiast who now works as a Gay Line volunteer, said another deciding factor was his being in a solid and committed relationship with his lover, Steven. "We're very happy together and the timing seemed right."
Though his mother is "steeped in the values of Edwardian England," Wilson says she does watch a lot of telly and thus has had her world opened up to a degree. He saw an opening last Christmas, when her housekeeper was looking about for a needle and thread to fix a hole in Wilson's sweater. Apparently, Mother asked the housekeeper what she was doing, and the housekeeper replied that she was fixing a sweater for Wilson as he doesn't have a wife. "I know," Mother confided in the housekeeper. "I think he has a boyfriend back in Canada."
When Wilson heard this, the proverbial ice had been broken. At Easter, he took Steven out to London and the two visited Mother's home. Arriving at lunch time, Mother insisted they all go out to a restaurant. At one point, Mother turned to Wilson and asked, "Don't you think you'll ever get married?" To which he responded, "Oh, I think I'm too old for that." Mother caught on and paused. Finally, she asked: "Isn't there an operation you can get for that over in America?"
"Well, no," replied Wilson. "That's okay," she said back, "I like you the way you are." It may sound like a simple coming-out story, but for Wilson, there was a huge weight off his shoulders. "It had been so long and she'd never really come out and articulated it. I still don't think we'll ever get to the point where she uses the word 'gay.' With her upbringing, it's just not in her vocabulary. I feel like we went from a Clinton, 'don't ask, don't tell' policy to a sort of E.M. Forster mutual understanding."
Though both he and his boyfriend are back in Montreal now, Wilson says Mother invited them back for a visit soon. In the meantime, Wilson held a massive 69th birthday for himself--something that will mean a whole other level of coming out to his mother soon. "Steven and I both did drag performances at the party," he says. "And I'm sending a video of it to Mother!"
Electropub happens every Thursday at Unity Pub, 9pm, free. August guest DJ: Mark MacLeod. Live tonight, Aug. 2: Behind the Wheel (Depeche Mode tribute)
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