Jersey bounty

>> Hot Six is chick lit for mob wives

by JULIET WATERS

It's high time Stephanie Plum had her own HBO series. Try to imagine Sex in the City meets The Sopranos, and if you can't, pick up one of the seven books in this mystery series by Janet Evanovich. The latest, Seven-Up, is currently on every hardcover best-seller list. But because Stephanie's character is truly meant for trashy trade paperback, it seemed more appropriate to review Hot Six, now available in every drugstore and airport gift shop in North America.

Evanovich, who started her career writing comic romance novels, first introduced Stephanie in One For the Money, following this up with Two For the Dough and Three to Get Deadly... You get the picture. Think Elmore Leonard for chicks. Think spicy Harlequin romances for mob wives. Think Rene Zellweger with extra hair, extra mascara, a Jersey accent, and instead of extra weight, a monster zit on her chin. This should give you a sense of Stephanie Plum, bounty hunter and self-described slut.

Bounty hunter may sound like an unusual job for a woman. But for a girl from Trenton, New Jersey, it's just a step down from real estate agent. Other Trenton chicks work the bounty hunting beat, notably Stephanie's arch-enemy, the leather clad, ultra-moussed Joyce Barnhardt. "I swear I smell sulfur every time she walks by," says Stephanie's friend and co-worker, Lula. Stephanie works on commission, apprehending fugitives for her cousin Vinnie, president of Vincent Plum Bail Bonds. She started working there after she got laid off from a lingerie shop.

Hot Six opens with Stephanie talking to her childhood friend, Carol Zabo, down from a bridge. She doesn't think Carol's actually going to jump. Carol has a bond with Vinnie--for rear-ending a cop car--so Stephanie has to bring her in, or spot where the body lands.

Her day then gets even more complicated. Turns out Steph's mentor, known only as Ranger, is now a fugitive himself. He's been caught on videotape: the last person to leave the scene of a murder. The victim: the youngest son of one of the prominent, gun-running, Ramos family, "barbecued in a third-floor office." Ranger was out on bail for a concealed weapon charge, and the job falls to Steph because, as Vinnie explains, "Ranger has a thing for you."

But Ranger is the Houdini of bounty hunters, which makes this pretty much mission impossible. And she has other dilemmas: another fugitive is trying to bolster an insanity plea by murdering Stephanie in exactly the same way he killed his ex-wife: raping her, beating her with a tire-iron, trying to set her on fire and eventually running her over with his car. Stephanie's horny, gun-totting grandmother has decided to move into her apartment. Stephanie can't seem to keep a car for more than a few days without it being torched or totalled.

Meanhwile, she's being followed by two nasty, though hilarious, henchmen named Mitchell and Habib, who are also trying to find Ranger. Some guy has foisted his possibly retarded, slobbering, food-addicted golden retriever, Bob, on her. She can't seem to get a minute alone with her boyfriend, childhood sweetheart and cop, Joe Morelli. Ranger, who wants her to find the real killer, keeps showing up at odd moments dressed in black commando gear and the sexual tension is growing. And finally there's that monster zit on her chin.

One of the most endearing traits about Stephanie is that she's not all that great at her job. She can't shoot, she's not very fast, the only karate she knows is from Bruce Lee movies, and she can't pick locks. But she's got good instincts and a good heart. And she can pretty much guarantee a fast, fun vacation read.

Hot Six by Janet Evanovich, St Martin's Paperbacks, pb, 350pp, $8.99