Shopping at the smorgasbord

IKEA's cafeteria offers no-frills Swedish-like eats

by SPANKY HOROWITZ

 Even if you didn't move on July 1, you probably spent a bit of time helping other people move. Either way, you'll most likely have the itch to shine up your home, and the best place to get everything you need, besides Sweden, is IKEA.

 I was there on three separate occasions lately, mostly to pick up a few odds and ends, each time thinking I'd be in and out in less than 20 minutes. More than three hours later, after limping out into the parking lot with bags of crap in my arms and a box or two on my cart, I realized that it's a damn good thing there's a resto inside. Not only could one eat, but one could relax for a while before returning to the gargantuan maze that is the store.

 The resto is on the second floor, and in true and tried IKEA fashion, it's a cafeteria where you have to assemble your own meal. Grab a tray, head on down the line and choose from a small selection of un-cafeteria-like Swedish goodies, which include a salmon festival, a special of the day, and a manager's special. The manager's special is a heaping plate of Swedish meatballs ($7) with gravy that comes with boiled new potatoes, a side of Swedish lingonberry sauce and a soup or salad. If you are a carnivore, that's your only choice, albeit a good one.

 The salmon festival celebrated imported Swedish salmon until June 30 (but was still en rigueur until July 5 with no end in sight). For starters, or a snack, there is a plate of superb gravlax for $5 with a mustard and horseradish dipping sauce, or a disappointingly minuscule salmon trio for $7, which includes a morsel of poached salmon and two small slices of smoked salmon.

 The real deal is the poached salmon. For $7, you're served a beautiful portion of poached salmon with boiled baby potatoes and steamed broccoli or cauliflower. The special ($6) changes daily and I've almost always enjoyed it. Once I had a curry chicken plate with raisins and rice that was a little dry, but was juiced up with a side of gravy. My favourite was the filet of sole Florentine, which consisted of a piece of sole rolled around a stuffing of spinach and herbs, served with slightly undercooked rice.

 If you want to loosen your wallet straps a little, you can fortify your meal with a Labbatt Blue or a 250 ml bottle of Cellier des Dauphins Cotes du Rhone, a sweet white wine from France. Both go well with meatballs or salmon.

 If you're still a little peckish on your way out, just by the exit is the Swedish Cafe. You can get a hot dog here for 65 cents (which doesn't sound very Swedish, but I wouldn't know since I haven't had a hot dog since my hot dog hangover circa '99). They also sell items from the menu upstairs so you can cook a la Swedish in your own home, using your own IKEA knives, table and cutting board. As I finish off this review, I'm also finishing off a tin of Abba Swedish Matjes Herring Fillets ($4) and a glass of mineral water tainted with Swedish Elderberry Concentrate ($5 for a pint). In the immortal words of the Swedish chef from the muppets, I leave you with, "Och di pash da schmush di feenten, suiker dille kruiden koel." :

 Comments? foodspanky@hotmail.com

IKEA

Address: 9191 Cavendish (by the Trans-Canada highway)

Phone: 738-2167

Hours: Mon-Fri 10am-9pm, Sat 9am-5pm, Sun 10am-5pm

Best features: all Swedish food, all the time, while you shop

Vegetarian friendly: yes

Wheelchair access: yes

Alcohol: beer and wine.

Credit cards: yes

Price: $5-12 per person, including drinks and taxes, no tips--it's a cafeteria

Rating: HHH out of HHHH