Elementary differences

>> English school board raises hopes, axes former Catholic school

By RAF KATIGBAK

 Okay class, bust out your lab coats, fire up the Bunsen burners and whip out your number 2 pencils 'cuz this week it looks like it's all about science.

 First off, let me remind you to book time with the creative conglomerate known as Epsilon Lab this Saturday, July 14. Professors Elsonic, Mateo Murphy, Mad Max and Pheek will be on hand to school us in the art of live techno. This promises to be a well-wicked night, so attendance is mandatory. Class is at Unity Pub, 1171 Ste-Catherine E., and there is no tuition fee, so no excuses.

 Pop Quiz Question 1: On the periodic table, which element has the atomic number 3? Answer: Lithium. Which, incidentally, is also the name of Tokyo's Sunday-night gig that will be hosting a fundraising barbecue for Dans la Rue on July 15. With some of Montreal's finest house DJs, like Fred Everything and jojoflores(R), providing beats, this is a great chance to shake your rump, stuff your face, get belligerently drunk and help out kids on the street at the same time!

 Next lesson: evolution. Darwin believed that man descended from apes but Montreal's Ray Junior Productions have their own theory. Their kind of monkey business is a giant, three-day acid/trance/Goa/tech-house/nu-NRG (wasn't that Prince's old band?) party in an abandoned military bunker. From July 13-15, this huge, concrete enclosure will be the site of Evolution Radar One. Boasting four stages and an international roster of DJs and live acts, the flyer says that for your $55 you also get "parking, access to the beach, volleyball, camping, first aid and friendly security." In fact, if it wasn't for the 54 hours of pounding techno, I'd say bring the whole family! This year's lineup includes U.K. acid-techno supergroup Punk Floyd featuring techno-vet (that's "veteran," not "guy who looks up dogs' bums") Chris Liberator as well as some homegrown talent in the form of Jeff MK-Ultra, who will be doing both a special 12-hour DJ set and something billed as a "live DAT" (which I think will consist of him pushing "play" on a tape deck). Alongside him are Iznogood, Mana-7 and a whole slew of up-and-comers, which brings us to Pop Quiz Question 2: What do Fructose and Lysergic (acid) have in common? Answer: They are both alcohol-soluble and are both playing at Evolution Radar One on Saturday. Got questions? Check out www.rayjunior.com for answers and directions.

 If Ray Junior's idea of evolution makes you worry about the future of mankind, worry no more. The future is here! Analog punk trio Add N to X will be at the Centre Social Espagnol on Monday, July 16. If they rock it even half as hard as Knurl did at that space last week (kick yourself if you missed it), it'll be well worth seeing so check 'em out. It will be on the exam! :

 School's out, suckaz! twosixfour@sympatico.ca