Everybody needs Drum Buddy to love

>> Mr. Quintron's budgetronic boom-box gets its props at Fantasia

by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

 It was this close. Montreal almost saw a visit from the much-heralded Mr. Quintron--organist, inventor, impresario, producer and luminary of the Ninth Ward of New Orleans. Unique cult figures and specialists in financially finite fun, Quintron and his posse from the Spellcaster Lounge (his puppeteer/seamstress wife Miss Pussycat, the amazing "ghost-robot-or-alien" MC Trachiotomy, the enthusiastic Bob Global and more) were scheduled to bring the Drum Buddy Bad-Ass show to the Fantasia festival, complete with a puppet show and an infomercial for Quintron's patented Drum Buddy invention.

 These plans, though, were derailed by the loss last week of their friend, R&B icon Ernie K-Doe ("Mother in Law"). In order to attend K-Doe's funeral, they've had to cancel their appearance. The infomercial, however, will be projected before a bonus screening of the light-hearted gem Cannibal Holocaust, and absolutely merits a look-see.

 Here's some words from the man himself, to give readers a notion of what the Quintron experience is all about. In Mr. K-Doe's honour, we precede the interview with a touching eulogy from Quintron.

 "Dear Rupert, and Montreal readers and people,

 As you may already know, Ernie K-Doe died on July 5 at Charity Hospital in New Orleans, LA. He was a mentor to me, a friend to me, and he was crazy enough to ask me to engineer and play organ on his last two records, Children of the World and White Boy, Black Boy. Ernie is seen in the Drum Buddy infomercial, which will be showing at Fantasia. The fact that he appeared in this, and truly believed in and understood the Drum Buddy, is just another testament to his wide-open genius. This is a man who had number 1 hits in the 1960s, riding around the country in red Cadillacs with James Brown and Little Richard on the group tours--no small-time motherfucker! And yet he spent the end of his life in a palace in the ghetto called the Mother in Law Lounge with the queen of all show-business promotion and finesse, his loving wife and now widow, Miss Antoinette K-Doe. I would ask you all who knew him and his music to honour him and don't let any negativity kill your spirit to have the life that you want, the way you want it. Come to New Orleans and visit Ernie K-Doe's Mother-in-Law Lounge. So now some questions." --Mr. Quintron

 Mirror: I was considering how exactly I would explain to my readers what the Spellcaster bunch are all about, and I've found the perfect phrase for it, right here in an OffBeat interview. Antoinette K-Doe refers to yourselves, and herself as well, as "theme people." To me, that means not fashion statements, affectations or wink-wink ironic gimmicks, but rather people who live life the way they think it should be lived. Do you think this is a fair perception on my part?

 Quintron: Yes, I guess we are theme people and the theme is show business. We are in the ghetto of people and that is where you can get away from the rules and build your empire. It is not a fake at all. We are really in show business and that means sometimes you have to do it when you don't want to and this is what I am learning now. Last night a man quoted a scroll to me from memory. I forget who the author was but it was the theme of "persist until you succeed." This means that sometimes you do not want to go and have a practice or make a new puppet theater or whatever you do, but you will do it and the more you do it, the more inspirations will come and the more real you yourself will become--the one that you know is inside of you. The world will become real and the public will respect it as so. Eventually, they will have to. It is the truth of all show business and sales--you must believe yourself! The rest will follow if you have this belief.

 M: For those who don't know, can you explain the Drum Buddy?

 Q: It's a five-oscillator, light-activated, mechanically rotating drum machine. It is basically an analog synthesizer of my own design which is activated via photoelectric cells, played similar to the way a DJ works a turntable. I made many prototypes before the final one and now it is patented and I am selling them over the Internet at www.drumbuddy.com. I will only make 100 Drum Buddies!

 M: Have you sold any yet?

 Q: Just over 20 so far and everywhere in the world--especially Germany--seems to be interested in the Drum Buddy.

 THIS IS NOT A CHARADE

 M: I've always loved custom-made, original musical instruments like this. The Drum Buddy gets my thumbs-up because I'm able to grasp the clear, simple technology involved.

 Q: As I said on the back of the demo LP for the Drum Buddy, a good instrument needs to be simple to operate and sound like itself. We do not need more computer instruments now that can do everything and sound like anything. We need limitations for flavour and simplicity. I do not hate computers, though. They just aren't musical instruments like a guitar.

 M: Watching the Drum Buddy infomercial with my friend, we agreed that it's not a joke. In fact, quite the opposite. Unlike most everything else we see being sold on TV, I get a sense here of very genuine, humble pride and trustworthiness. Do you feel that the people who see what you do and make understand this, or are there misinterpretations?

 Q: Yes, many people do not believe that the Drum Buddy is a real instrument and many people have been angry at the infomercial and at my Drum Buddy Bad-Ass show. But I cannot do anything about this except for be real. The Drum Buddy is a real instrument and I really am selling them and the Web site address to sign up to buy a Drum Buddy is www.drumbuddy.com. This is a real infomercial, too. Of course, when we edited it, it had to come out funny because what else are you going to do if you are making an infomercial? They are ridiculous by nature. But I think this is actually helping to sell the Drum Buddies, because the people who are really interested in them are smart and funny people. Disbelievers have their own problems and they can buy the Roland product in ten years after it is legitimized in their minds by the industry and the corporate mass-brainwash sales. It is sad that people can't believe in the small man anymore. They need the big hype to think that something is good or real. :

 The Drum Buddy infomercial and Cannibal Holocaust screen at Fantasia, at the Cinema Imperial, on Friday, July 13, at midnight