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Scott Thompson bottom feeds!
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Canada's queen of comedy returns with The Lowest Show on Earth
by MATTHEW HAYS
Scott Thompson sounds a wee bit grumpy on the phone. But he's quite open about it. "Sorry," he apologizes. "I haven't put my patch on yet. I'll be better when the patch kicks in."
In addition to quitting smoking, Thompson, speaking from Florida, is talking to me the morning after performing his latest show to a new crowd. He performed The Lowest Show on Earth three times last night, and he's "really exhausted" after months without a day off.
"This show is my first post-gay, post-Kids thing," declares Thompson, referring to his sexual orientation and the Canadian show that launched him into comedy stardom, respectively. The Lowest Show on Earth features the return of Thompson faves like Buddy Cole, Fran and Queen Elizabeth, backed up by such new talent as a sock puppet and a naked woman (who Cole, in one skit, examines on stage). For Thompson, the show is "an exploration of the baser aspects of man's nature: betrayal, gossip, revenge, sentimentality, murder, sex, addiction and the tendency to patronize."
Thompson's gospel has pretty much always been to be as outrageous as humanly possible, to offend as many as possible and to leave nothing sacred unturned. This show will sate the appetites of those looking for the politically incorrect, as its author even includes gags about school shootings. For Thompson, an unintentional dress rehearsal for the show neatly presented itself a month ago in Toronto, the city he returned to in May after three years of living in L.A.
Sex and the silly
Thompson found himself in hostile territory when the literati held their noses during his performance on June 7. As the prestigious Griffin Awards were presented (in which $80,000 worth of prizes were handed out to poets), Thompson got up to perform his act, as he had been invited to do by none other than ringmaster Daniel Richler. But things didn't go as many had expected, as Thompson took his act to some new heights (or depths). Thompson appeared on stage in character as "Dijean," a French Canadian man who wears long johns, is well endowed and performs bad poetry for the sole purpose of trying to get laid. As Dijean, Thompson waved a sex toy in the face of author Anne Michaels.
An uncomfortable silence swept through the room. Literary icon Margaret Atwood actually got up and left. One reporter quoted Atwood's husband, Graeme Gibson, as saying, "Get rid of him." Thompson, who had another skit to perform, was not allowed back on the stage, and was instead shuttled out of the venue.
"They gave me the Billie Holiday treatment in reverse," Thompson tells me. "I was brought in the front door and taken out through the kitchen!" But seriously, folks, Thompson doesn't understand what the fuss was all about and, predictably, sees the whole thing as so Canadian. "I came out as this character with a big dick who wants to have sex, sings about having sex from a song he learned in the Rock Machine newsletter. And they were really shocked--poets and writers, the people who are supposed to be worldly. Have you ever come out of your Ivory tower and gone online? Or had sex with a homeless person? Have you even lived?
"In a sense, it was kind of exciting. The whole establishment was staring at me. They were like, 'He's not Rick Mercer! He's not going on about how stupid Americans are!' Gimme a break. Margaret Atwood needs a new wig. She just couldn't handle a bigger star in the room, that was her problem. I just pray to God that one of them puts me in one of their books. Because mark my words, there's going to be a dry, frizzy-haired, grey-haired, tight-assed WASP writer who sells millions of books in my next show."
I don't do Jack
As for this show, Thompson says it's something he's been cooking up for a couple of years. Things have been a wee bit odd for the actor and comedian. After becoming notorious for Kids in the Hall, which gained a serious international cult following while airing on U.S. cable, Thompson settled into a hilarious supporting role on The Larry Sanders Show. That being over, Thompson tried a few different gigs, wrote a book in his Buddy Cole persona, but wanted variety--something he found particularly difficult after his out status gained so much attention. He was asked to audition for the Jack part on Will & Grace, for example, but declined to read for the part that has since won Sean Hayes an Emmy.
"You know why I didn't read for it? Because if I'd gotten it, I'd be rich and famous. But it'll be the end of me, in terms of diversity. I would be that guy forever. I've done Jack. Buddy is Jack. I did him years ago. I don't want to be 40 and still trying to play 31. Sean Hayes is hilarious and I'm very happy for him. The fact that people think he's straight is hilarious, but I'm happy for him."
Thompson acknowledges the gay thing meant a certain pigeon-holing in L.A. He's had a recurring role on the series Providence, a family-values, prime-time network show many might consider him out of place in. "I'm always pigeon-holed, every moment. I'm sick of playing these fags next door. But I tried to turn down gay roles and I just didn't work for about a year. Am I an actor? Or a fucking prop for liberals to dangle in front of the camera? I often find it embarrassing. Do your education in school. I've done that before. Get over it."
So what with L.A. casting calls becoming predictable, Thompson returned to Toronto the PC, bought a condo, and, within a month, landed in the Griffin brouhaha.
But Thompson says the cities do have something in common: lots of liberals, something he hates. "Liberal oligarchies are just as bad as the right. I'm neither left wing nor right wing, I'm a broken wing. I'm sick to death of liberals and their condescension. Give me a right-wing fascist and his stiff dick any day. I got put off political correctness after I was raped in both languages by a lesbian native wearing a strap-on."
The Lowest Show on Earth plays at the Centaur July 17-22, showtimes vary, $15;info: 790-HAHA
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