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>>> June 14, 2001
Get real! Who's the boss? Quick, name something we've all heard of but have never had here--a dictator! While the Canadian government, for all its faceless fumbling bureaucracy, isn't infallible, we've also never had an iron-fisted strongman declare every Monday a holiday to honour his dog. TheDictatorship.com is a Web site chock full of fun facts about 20th-century dictators, from the successful North Korean generalissimo Kim Il Sung (46 years) to the not-so-impressive Norwegian Nazi collabo Vikdun Quisling (3 years). There are even Dictator video games. Help Pakistani PM Benazir Bhuto shoot down the presidential plane of the military warlord who murdered her father. Kick ass and take names at www.thedictatorship.com. Whoopee! Here's a quick one--this Web site carries a full line of flatulence-related novelties, from remote control fart machines to the wind-breaking contest CD; apparently, this "Cult classic recording is a must for true fart enthusiasts!" Be enthused at www.thefartmachine.net. Michael Citrome |
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>>> June 7, 2001
Rude food Dastardly! Face it. The Grand Prix is boring. A bunch of identical-looking cars racing around an ovoid track is not exactly A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. If only there was a way to make the sport more interesting. How about some hillbillies, dirty tricks, cavemen and monsters to jazz up the petrol-soaked smogfest? Well why not just dispense with the Grand Prix entirely and watch your tapes of Wacky Races, the classic Hanna Barbera cartoon immortalized at It's the Wacky Races, where you can find out all about the cars and teams, and download some games and music. Shake your fist in vain at www.hotink.com/wacky/. Almost famous: This weekend will be a hotbed of celebrity spottings here in Montreal, and most of those self-obsessed prima donnas are likely to be no fun at all. That's okay when you have Am I Annoying Or Not, the site that lets you rate the stars as "Annoying" or "Not Annoying." Make your opinion known at Amiannoying.com. Michael Citrome |
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>>> May 31, 2001
Talmud terror! Loot of the frum: Billing itself as "the online magazine for Jews with attitude," Tattoo Jew is an entertaining Web site full of articles about issues relevant to alternajews. Whatever your passion, whether it's kabbala, hardcore klezmer, or shtuping shikses (or shkotzim, they're not prejudiced), you'll find plenty here. There are also articles on Jewish mobsters and Nazi fetishism, if you like to get down like that. Hava nagila at www.tattoojew.com. My Adidas: Taking a look at the feet of Montreal's fashionisti, the three stripes are what is to be rocked this summer. Sadida.com is an electronic love letter to Die Mark mit den 3 Streifen, with a history of the brand, photos and facts. You can download wallpaper and graphics and there are great photos of everyone from All Saints to the Beastie Boys sporting fresh Adidas kicks. Walk through concert doors at www.sadida.com. Michael Citrome |
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>>> May 24, 2001
Do dat dance Dancin' fool: We've all had this problem. You're out at a club, beer in hand, the music is pounding but you don't have any moves. Well, it's now easier to get down and get funky with How To Dance Properly, a Web site that illustrates 10 hip dances in grainy, jumpy video. Whether it's old-school breakin' or new-school ass slappin', you'll come away all learned up. Whine and grine at www.zefrank.com/indexdance.html. Cash waster: Online auction sites are a great source for whatever it is you collect, whether it's vintage die-cast cars or old-school Nikes. But they're also a great source of the random crap produced and accumulated by the stranger people of the world. Who Would Buy That? picks out the strangest of these auctions and presents them to you for your own viewing pleasure--who knows, they might point out that Miss Piggie sex doll you've been jonesing for. Spend money at www.whowouldbuythat.com. Michael Citrome |
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>>> May 17, 2001
Out and about Hax0r: With hordes of newly unemployed geeks moving back to their parents' basements as a result of the economic downturn, good ol' malicious computer hacking may come back into vogue. No more cappuccino and Prada, it's back to RC-Cola-fuelled all-nighters for the nefarious nerds of Hack Canada, billed as our own home-grown hacking Web site. With info on how to get free cell phone calls and disrupt RCMP communications, this site could probably show you how to do bad, illegal things. But it's really for educational purposes only. Really. It's the revenge of the nerds at www.hackcanada.com. Hugh Jass: Some Londoners armed with a tape recorder and a cruel sense of humour convinced airport announcers to say rude phrases disguised as weird foreign names. Arheddis Varkenjaab and Aywellbe Fayed sounds like "I hate this fucking job," and "I will be fired." They put the results up on the Web. Funny? Very: www.twilight3d.com/humour/temp/. Michael Citrome |