This week: Raleigh Cross, Ripcordz crossover, Green wannabes!

Plus: Art called dumb!!

"edited" by AL SOUTH
sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT

M

Yo, what's up, Rant Line(TM)? This is Raleigh Cross, ex-renegade king hardcore MC, and I'd like to say to everyone complaining about everything that everything is everything so always remember everything, you know, and forget everything you hate, you know what I'm saying? Because, like, it's just too late for understanding at this point and now it's gotta be ABSTRACTED positive energy to improve things with the beef on the Rant Line(TM) and, you know, poverty in the world and the Expos. Word. [BLEEP!]

M

Hey, what's this I hear about the Ripcordz doing some crossover hip hop thing with Shades of Culture and starting a new band with Ricky J? What is this? Christina Aguilera? What is this? Mickey Mouse Club? What is this, Ripcordz? [BLEEP!]

M

Why does CHOM always say they have a musical track exclusively on their station when I hear it on all the other stations at the same time or even before it's ever been on CHOM? What the hell are they trying to do? Screw with our minds? Well, it's not working. I'm not gonna crack! [BLEEP!]

M

This is for everyone out there complaining about CHOM's music being so sucky. Well, that may be true, but calling up the DJs and ranting to them will help your cause jacksquat. What you gotta do is you call and ask for NEIL KUSHNIR, 'cuz he's the guy who's in charge of what's being played on the station. And I guess ever since he cut his HAIR, he became a big suck. [BLEEP!]

F

Those people at CHOM are so OLD that they don't know shit when it comes to rock music. Ten years ago, if you remember, they refused to play Nirvana. Everyone else in the whole world was playing Nirvana but they wouldn't play them. About five or eight years ago, I phoned them and asked them to play Iron Maiden and they said, "Oh no, we don't play that!" But what they do play--it's not rock! It's for, I don't know, people in a VEGETATIVE STATE. But it ain't rock. [BLEEP!]

F

Yeah, this is for the girl defending Sixpence None the Richer. If it is really such calming and de-stressing music, how come you're telling people to fuck off and die? [BLEEP!]

F

People are always complaining about stuff in Quebec. Well then, why the hell don't you get up and do something? In Jamaica, when the gas price went up 10 cents, there were riots everywhere. Riots! And the price went down again. That's right, they put the gas prices down right away. What the hell's going on? Wake up, Quebecers. Wake up and make a revolution. Wake up and SMELL the music--if you don't do nothing, nothing will change. Peace. [BLEEP!]

F

This is for all the cute little Green wannabes who head up to the mountain on Sundays for the vibe and a bit of wine and a dance and leave all their shit behind. We're talking wrappers and papers and bottles. It's time for you kids to grow up and understand that if you really want this mountain and want to share the vibe, deal with the fact that you've gotta pick up after yourselves. In fact, you can even leave the mountain cleaner than you came to it. Think about it. Peace. [BLEEP!]

F

Uh, yes, love is giving me hives and irritable bowel syndrome. [BLEEP!]

M

Yeah, I got something for you--art is dumb. Rant on, fuckers. [BLEEP!]

F

Hi. This is to the not-so-stick-thin lady who was walking on St-Laurent street and someone told her to keep eating her sandwich and called her FATSO. Well, if you like being fat, great, although I don't believe that, deep down, you like being fat. Because I've been overweight and I didn't like it. And I don't particularly like fat women who are 300 to 400 pounds coming up to me when I gain, like, three to four pounds, and telling me "Hey, you gained three to four pounds, you've got some extra inches on you." What's that all about? Personally I don't believe anyone likes to be fat, they just don't like to admit it, so they take it out on everyone else. So keep eating your sandwich, fatso, and you're gonna gain an extra 40 pounds on top of that! [BLEEP!]

F

Hi. I was just calling because I wanted to know what you thought about being a WHORE. My friend works for Peel Pub. A girl gave him $20 to make out with him. I think that that makes him a prostitute. What do you think? [BLEEP!]

F

This is for the woman who has Mr. Bumbles. If you leave any wet cat food out for any length of time and a FLY gets into your house, it will lay eggs in it and that's where maggots come from. It's not Friskies, it's the fact that you leave horrible old dirty dry gross wet cat food lying around and don't even clean up his plate! Thanks. Bye. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum