Clank it up, dude

>> B9 are Montreal's new kids on the rock block

by JOHNSON CUMMINS

I own one of the most ancient answering machines in the world. I think it's called Telstar or something. It runs on 8-track tape and I had to knock down a wall just to move it in. I really love the fact that it looks like the bridge on the USS Enterprise but it plays everything at half-speed, so no matter who calls, they all end up sounding like Jack Palance with marbles in his mouth.

Today I thought I was returning the call of somebody named Klink. Could it be that feisty, monocle-wearing little nazi Colonel Klink, from Hogan's Heroes? Sadly, I wasn't treated to howls of "Schuuuuuulz!" or even "Hoooooo-gaaan!" but instead a happy-sounding "Hi, this is Clank."

It turns out that the mysterious Clank behind the Klink is well known to the Montreal rock scene as the longtime bass player for Montreal musical institutions like Failsafe and Rhododendron. With his brand spankin' new band B9, he's now to be known as simply Clank, disavowing entirely his given name. So what's the deal with the name change? "Clank is kind of like the sound of my bass," he tells me. "So it just seemed to make sense. I like the one name thing like Cher or Madonna, so my other names just don't exist anymore."

Owing quite bit to latter-era Black Flag or early Rollins Band, B9's debut record Benign is more like a well-calculated blow to the head than your typical collection of hummable, toe-tappin' ditties. Clank's bass does precisely that--clank--while the band pulls back the reins just short of, to quote their press release, "Total destruction." With radical time changes and pure ballast riffs, the whole thing is perfectly counter-balanced with singer Emma Pibaldo's barbed lines sneaking out from under her angelic voice.

B9 are now rarin' up to play their first official show and the butterflies in the stomach are just starting to kick in. "I'm always nervous before a show," says Clank, "but it's a good kind of nervous. It's the anticipation one finds before a fine meal, or when one can smell impending sexual activity." Impending sexual activity?! Wait a minute, are we sure that wasn't Colonel Klink--or maybe that she-wolf Ilsa?

At Petit Campus tonight, Thursday, May 3, 8:30pm, $5, and with Leguemo at L'X on Sunday, May 6, 2pm, $5, all ages