CityLife
>>
Best place to spot a celebrity
1. On St-Laurent
2. Globe
3. Buona Notte
Honourable mentions: Air Canada's Business Class Cabin * Alcoholics Anonymous * At another fucking movie set * Bal en Blanc * Bifteck * Bily Kun * Black & Blue * Cafeteria * Chapters * Cock 'n' Bull * Dusty's * Empire Comix * Café Mèlies (Ex-Centris) * First class car on VIA * Grand Prix * Holt Renfrew * Hotel Intercontinental * Jailhouse * Jello Bar * Just for Laughs * Laurier * Le Cheval Blanc * Le Continental * L'Express * Meditteraneo * Near the TQS Studio * Outside MusiquePlus * Palais de Justice * Chez Parée * Plateau * Ritz-Carlton * Schwartz's * Sona VIP lounge * Who cares?
>>
Best place to spot a babe
1. On St-Laurent
2. Anywhere in Montreal
3. On St-Denis
4. On Crescent
5. Sona
Honourable mentions: Air Canada's stewardess round-ups at Delta Hotel * Angel's * Any CÉGEP * Chez Parée * Club Unity * Les Cours Mont-Royal * Foufounes Electriques * Jamaica Day * Lipstick parties * Maternity ward, Montreal General * Mile-End * Mont-Royal E. * Mount Royal * Near a school * Punk rock shows * PVC Night * Sky Club * SPCA * Terrasses * The Dome * The laundromat * The mall * The village * Tokyo * Unity
>>
Best neighbourhood
1. Plateau
2. NDG
3. Mile-End
4. Westmount
5. St-Henri
Honourable mentions: Baie d'Urfé * Centre-Sud * Chinatown * Côte-des-Neiges * Côte-St-Luc * Crescent * Delmar * Downtown * Hampstead * Kirkland * Lambert Closse * LaSalle * Little Italy * Longueuil * McGill Ghetto * Monkland Village * Montreal-North * Montreal-West * Near the Forum * New Bordeaux * Nun's Island * Old Montreal * Outremont * Park-Ex * Pointe St-Charles * Shaugnessy * Snowdon * St-Denis * TMR * Tupper St. * Verdun * The Village * Ville-Marie * Villeray * West Island
>>
Best minority
1. Jews
2. Anglos
3. Gays
4. Italians
5. Jamaicans
Honourable mentions: Abenaki lesbian paraplegics * Acadians * Afro-Cubans * Americans * Anglos with a fashion sense * Asians * Balding redheads with freckles * Black Jewish Vietnamese people * Black midget lesbians * Brazilians * Chileans * Chinese * Cubans * Czechs * Danes * Disabled * Drag Queens * East Indians * Egyptians * Expo Fans * Foreskins * Francophone Jews * Gay Hasidic Jews * Germans * Greeks * Habs fans * Haitians * Hispanics * Hungarians * Idealists * Indians * Intelligent people * Irish * Japanese * Jewish-Portuguese * Koreans * Latinos * Lebanese * Men who like musical theatre who are not gay * Mexicans * Mulattos * Natives * Nerds * New Zealanders * People offended by the question * Pakistanis * People from the Isle of Mann * People without cell phones * Poles * Portuguese * Punx * Ravers * Russians * Scots * Senegalese * Somalian refugees * Spanish * Squeegees * Straight white males * Swedes * Technoslackers * Transsexuals * Ukrainians * WASPs * West Indians
>>
Best park
1. Mount Royal
2. Lafontaine Park
3. Westmount Park
4. Jeanne-Mance Park
5. Carré-St-Louis
Honourable mentions: Beaver Lake * Bert Park * Centennial * Coffee Park * Côte-des-Neiges * Dog park * Girouard * Hommes-Forts Park (St-Henri) * Jarry Park * Jean-Drapeau * JFK * Kent * La Ronde * Lachine bicycle path * Lachine Canal * Parc-des-Îles * Parc du Portugal * Peel * Penfield-Simpson * Rockhill * Sauvé * Sir George Ethan Cartier * Stewart Hall in Pointe-Claire * Strathern Park * St-Viateur
>>
Best architecture
1. Anything in Old Montreal
2. Ex-Centris
3. Sun Life Building
Honourable mentions: 1250 René-Lévesque * Alfred Building * Architecture Museum * Archives Nationales (St-Pierre) * Bank of Montreal (Old Montreal) * Big O * Brownstones in NDG * Building with cat ears * CAC * Montreal Casino * Caverhill * Canadian Centre for Architecture * Church of Jesus Christ, Scientist * Concrete house at the corner of Marie-Anne & de Bullion * East-End refineries * Elegant rowhouses on St-Joseph E. * Grain silos in Old Mtl * Habitat '67 * HEC Montreal * Hotel Place-des-Armes * IBM Building * ICAO Bldg * Isart Building * Korman * Little houses on Duluth * Macdonald-Harrington (McGill) * Marché Bonsecours * McGill Campus * Metaforia * Metro stations on the blue line * Montreal Museum of Fine Arts * Molson Centre * Mount Stephen * Montreal Acqueduct * Musée Marguerite Bourgeoys * Notre-Dame Basilica * Old Port * Orange Julep * St-Joseph's Oratory * Place Ville-Marie * On Sherbrooke * TazMahal * UQÀM boat building * Usine C * Water Power Station * Westmount * York Theatre
>>
Worst eyesore
1. Big O
2. Paramount
3. Concordia Hall Building
4. UQÀM boat building
5. Pins-Parc interchange
Honourable mentions: Atwater and Guy * Burnside Hall (McGill) * Colisée Kirkland cinema * Colossal comic-style murals * Concordia Hall Building * CP's old Westmount station * Décarie Expressway * Digital billboard on Ste-Catherine * Dog shit * Ex-Centris * Farine Five Roses * Graffiti * HEC Montreal * Hochelaga-Maisonneuve * Hydro-Québec bulding * Institut de tourisme et d'hôtelleurie * Joliette metro * McDonalds * Molson Centre * Montreal Forum * Nouveau Colisée apts * Olympic Village * Ontario E. * Palais de Justice * Parking lots * Planet Hollywood * Potholes * Pointe St-Charles * Seville Theatre * Starbucks on Laurier * St-Laurent and Ste-Catherine * St-Laurent's X-mas Decorations * That weird house on Côte-St-Luc and Belmore in NDG * The "chair" architecture * The A&W on Parc * Wolfe street * York Cinema
>>
Best graffiti
1. Omen
2. Simo/Under Pressure
3. Castro
4. Zïlon
Honourable mentions: 420 * FUCK OFF WIGGER SCUM * Bathrooms at Foufones Électriques * C-Note * CN railcars in Taschereau Yards * Damos * Din * Dstrbo * Flow * Free Mumia * Girl faces * Icer 5 * Kops * Mural near Guy metro * Music notes * On nice buildings * On President-Kennedy near Place des Arts * Other * Red Eye * Sake 123 * Seaz * Ta Wall * The face at St-Laurent & des Pins * The rich must diet * The tagging on the Forum theatres * The walls of the old Neilson chocolate factory on William Street * Timer * Tunnel in St-Henri * Un fou dans la famille * Villa-Marie Expressway pylons * York Cinema
>>
Best kept Montreal secret
Al-Habib Bakery * All the heroin users * Anal-sex-loving girls * Bathhouses * Bike path along the Seaway * Cab fares negotiable * Caribbean Curry House * Cock 'n' Bull * Coco Loco * Concordia shuttle--free ride to NDG * Free books left outside of used book stores * Free lunch daily at downtown Concordia courtesy of The People's Potato * Freshly ground peanut butter at Optimum * Glory holes (so well kept, in fact, that I don't know where they are) * HMV's return policy * How to find an apartment on the Plateau * Massage parlours are for girls too * Olive & Gourmando bakery * Parc l'île Ste-Hélène * Second-hand bookstores in NDG * Summit Circle drive * The real fetish scene * The view of the Old Port from île Ste-Hélène * We love both languages * Weed delivery
>>
Best way to learn French
1. Date or sleep with or otherwise engage a francophone intimately
2. Work in a French environment
3. Watch TV
4. Take a class
5. Just speak it
Honourable mentions: Pornography * A week on mushrooms in the East-End * April in Paris * Bleu Nuit * Chill with STCUM workers and in the metro * CISM * Date a Montreal Canadien * Ditch your anglo friends * Don't go west of St-Denis * Don't grow up in Côte-St-Luc * Enter a French chat room on Yahoo! * Get a French girl pregnant * Get drunk * Go to prison and be a French inmate's slave * Have a crush on a cute French boy * Hookers from Gaspésie * Immersion * Listen to other people * Move to Chicoutimi * Play hockey * Practice * Rent an apartment in Hochelaga-Maisonneuve * Drive a cab * Smoke a joint with a bunch of French people at the tam tams * Speak English at Foufs and wait for someone to correct you * Subscribe to the idea of separation * Try to pick up a girl at the St-Sulpice * Watch dubbed episodes of 90210
>>
Best festival
1. International Jazz Festival
2. Just for Laughs
3. Gay Pride Divers/Cité
4. International Fireworks Competition
5. Beer Mondial Festival
6. Black & Blue
7. Fant-Asia Film Fest
Honourable mentions: Bal en Blanc * Canada Day * Casa del Popolo's Off-Jazz Fest * Cream * Des Moules * Elektra * Fêtes Gourmandes * FIFA * Les Francofolies * Fringe Fest * Gay Film Festival * Highland Games * Irish Festival * Jewish Music Festival * Festival des Homards * New Cinema/New Media * Ozzfest * Polliwog * Victoriaville * Warped Tour * World Film Festival
>>
Best new trend
1. Charlie's Angels sunglasses
2. Compassion Club
3. Economic growth
Honourable mentions: Absinthe * Anglos who think the Québécois are getting a raw deal and vice-versa * Asian dresses * Asian restaurants on St-Laurent * Bareback bicycling * Bashing Bernard Landry * Big white Mardi Gras beads * Branding * Butt cleavage * Cell phones with video games * Cinéma du Parc * Commuter trains that run on time * Corsets * Decent bread * Denim * Dot-com layoffs * Fluorescent streaked hair * Furry pants * Glam! * Guys with nail polish * Hair curlers * Hip Huggers * Junglists * Leather * Leg warmers * Longer hair * Men loving sex toys * More immigrant women giving massages * More people exercising * Pantashorts * Politer transit workers * Protests * Satellite radio * Scooter Boards * See-through clothing * Stilletoes * Strip bars without neon * Studs and glitter * The '70s coming-down look * The '80s * Those handkerchief tops * Tin foil clothing * Trends suck, good old khakis are the way to go
>>
Worst new trend
1. '80s fashion revival
2. Scooters
3. SUVs
4. '70s fashion revival
Honourable mentions: 12-year-old Britney sluts * All-news radio * American film companies in Montreal * Being an activist * Beige * Big hoop earrings * Biker cocaine afterhours clubs * Bombs * Charlie's Angels hairdo * Charlie's Angels sunglasses * Closing old cinemas * Coat-length sweaters with belts & hoods * Cowboy hats * Dark blue jeans * DJs who are totally non-vocal * Elitist candy ravers * Environmentally conscious hotels that don't change the bedding every day * Frat kids on the Plateau * Fred Durst lookalikes * Free metro paper distributors--why can't they leave me alone? * Gay Canadian Alliance Candidates * Geo anything * Guys with nail polish * Hemming your pants * Huge movie theatres * J. Lo anything (even the expression itself) * Men in black leather sandals * Men shaving their assholes * Mullets * Multiple media sources with common ownership * Neon coming back * No English community access on Videotron * One City * Orange * People basing their lives on pop culture * Pink and baby blue * Python print and yellow gold * Quoting commercials * Rent hikes * Ripped expensive unfinished clothes * Skanky-looking seven-year-olds * Skirts over pants * Sunglasses with rhinestones * The increasing popularity of stupid people * The new party kids who all dress candy * Weekend anarchists, then back to Westmount
>>
Best place to impress out-of-towners
1. Old Montreal
2. Mount Royal
3. Old Port
4. St-Laurent Boulevard
5. Club 737/Brutopia
6. Montreal Casino
Honourable mentions: Bathhouses * Bily Kun * Biodôme * Brother André's Heart * Buona Notte * Driving them in a nice car toward Moishe's but stopping instead at Schwartz's * Foufounes Électriques * Open Da Night * Orange Julep * La Queue de Cheval * Revolving restaurant on the roof of the Delta Hotel * Strip clubs * Tam tams * Toqué * Underground city
>>
Best place to get mugged
1. Metro stations
2. St-Henri
3. Verdun
4. Little Burgundy
5. The East-End
Honourable mentions: Anywhere underground * Behind the Faubourg * Lachine canal * Casino de Montreal * Concordia University * Côte-des-Neiges * Dollard-des-Ormeaux * Frontenac and Ontario * Hochelaga-Maisonneuve * In a video-porn booth * In your own home * Kent Park, Côte-des-Neiges * Lachine Canal * McGill ghetto * Montreal-North * Mount Royal * Mountain Sights Avenue * Old Montreal * Old Port * Ontario E. * Outside porn audition studios * Outside the RCMP building on Rene-Levesque * Papineau and Ontario * Pines-Parc interchange * Place Versailles * Pointe St-Charles * Snowdon Metro * St-Remi Tunnel * St-Denis at 4am * Ste-Catherine & Amherst * Ste-Catherine between St-Laurent & St-Denis * On St-Laurent * St-Michel * The ghettos * The Royal Vic * The Village
>>
Best way to find a job
1. Connections
2. On the Internet
3. Newspapers and classifieds
4. Sexual favours
5. Look for one
Honourable mentions: Beg and plead * Being hot and standing at the corner of Ste-Catherine and St-Laurent * Bribe the manager * Centre d'emploi * Dawson Student Services * DIY * Drink at any bar * Earn it! * Escort section in the Mirror * Flash the man who's interviewing you * Get a degree * Get on your knees or lie!! * Have super powers * Jobboom.com * Learn to telemarket or move to Toronto * Lower your standards * Monster.ca * Move to the States * Run out of UI * Sandwich boards * Sell yourself, honey * Smile a lot while pounding the pavement * Stop drinking * Temp agencies * Tits * Walk around and pretend you're disabled * Wear a lot of make-up, show breasts, apply at any place that sells stuff * Welfare * Wish I knew
