Angel >> PEI spuds Two truckloads of these much-maligned victims of the trade war have finally managed to cross the border into Maine. Despite 10,000 tests confirming that the hideous but benign disease found in some Island tubers has not spread, for the last six months PEI spuds have faced discrimination in the name of American protectionism. The hapless potatoes were ordered to scrub between their eyes and were then subjected to invasive poking and prodding, all for the chance to survive the border crossing and be consumed with a healthy portion of Salsbury steak and sweet Virginia peas.

Insect >> Civil snoops Fortunately for us tax evaders, none of the Quebec Revenue drones caught peeking into citizens' private files work in the tax-evasion snoop department, which has access to top-secret info on anyone of interest. And Revenue Minister Guy Julien is quick to assure everyone that the misguided employees did little more than peek into the files of their personal enemies. Clearly that's nothing to worry about. Meanwhile, immigration lawyers have caught Canada Customs officers opening up letters addressed to private citizens and weighing under 30 grams without the requisite search warrant, so watch out for idle eyes. They may be watching you.