Clucking for bucks

>> Shaking tail feathers as a singing telegram man

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Daniel Filiatreault

Age: 36

Job description: Singing chicken, telegram delivery man.

Salary: $35,000-40,000 per annum.

Bio: This plucky Mirabel resident has been belting out tunes for as long as he can remember. At the tender age of two he was singing along to the church choir. At age five, Daniel apparently sang all the way to Emergency following a tragic car accident which claimed the life of his mother and her eight-month-old fetus. A profoundly spiritual man, when he's not delivering telegrams dressed in a chicken costume or writing songs for his New Country band, Kanyan, Daniel is at home meditating or reading literature on spiritual self-discovery. He has been in the telegram business for over 10 years now and claims to absolutely adore his work. "When I go to deliver a telegram, something special comes out in me and I just want to go, 'Hey, look at me, I'm a star.' I just love all the attention I get."

Is this going to be a big weekend for the chicken? Yes, he and the Easter bunny over at his employer, www.giftogram.com, are booked solid for the holidays.

His gimmick: "I jump around and do the chicken dance and deliver the telegram in chicken language, [imitating chicken] 'Bok, b-b-bok, bok, bok.' This really freaks people out because they don't understand chicken. So later I'll translate the message into French or English and everybody has a great time."

Best part of job: Seeing the "tears of joy" that his telegrams can sometimes bring to people.

Worst: Going to children's parties and having kids mistake him for a punching bag. "You know, it really sucks if you've had a hard day and you get a call to go to a kid's party and when you get there all the children start kicking and punching you. You can't really see very well from inside the chicken suit and it's extremely hot in there and every once in awhile some kid will punch you very hard in the testicles and, I'm not kidding, it can really hurt."

How often people disrespect the chicken: Occasionally, but Daniel is an old pro and can handle even the sharpest heckler.

Do chicks ever come on to the chicken? Absolutely never; though he also delivers telegrams as another character called the Kissing Bandit who is a pretty big hit with the ladies.

Why chicks dig the Kissing Bandit: "I wear a Zorro mask and put on a ton of lipstick and run up and kiss the women all over their necks and faces so they end up covered in lipstick. The Kissing Bandit character is a real seducer."

Favourite pastime: Driving aimlessly through the countryside.

Short-term goals: To start his own vending-machine business and release a CD of his band, Kanyan. "But I never want to stop delivering telegrams."

Favourite film of all time: Elvis Gratton.

Philosophy: "Try to do your best to accept others as they are. Do not run after life, you may run too fast. Just slow down and relax and good things will come to you." :

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca