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    >> A spring skiing report

    by CRAIG SEGAL

    In spring, ski hills shed their crisp winter mountain serenity, and everyone who pranced around all year chatting politely and wriggling their bourgeois bottoms down the slopes is splashing through wet slush smelling like sweat, two plastic cupfuls of $5 piss draft and Players Ultra Lights. Suddenly they're dressed to the hilt in 1980s sunglasses, shorts, and a thick gob of zinc oxide on their noses. If you're not grabbing half-naked ski-bunny booty on the hilltop chalet patio by 2 p.m., you may as well pack it in and beat it back to the big city.

    To point your nose in the debauched ski party direction that is spring skiing, the Mirror has compiled a list of the decent hills around that are still open. Conditions are variable so call in advance. When student prices are available make sure you have a valid school ID.

    Laurentians

    Mont Blanc will be open this weekend, but aren't making any promises for next week. But as with most ski hills, crowds are thin this year because everyone is "pissed off with winter," according to Mont Blanc's Yolanda Blom. Call (819) 688-2444. Tickets cost $33.

    Mont Saint-Sauveur optimistically hope to stay open until June and say they have 17 runs open right now. Night skiing lasts until this Saturday, April 14. Call (450) 227-4671. Tickets cost $10 for full-time students 25 years and under.

    Mont Tremblant, which audaciously calls itself "the premier European Resort in North America," is aiming to be open until the end of the month. Most runs are still open. Kids under five ski for free. Quebec residents can buy an end-of-season pass for $99 plus tax. Tickets cost $55 for adults. Call 1-888-736-2526.

    Townships

    Mont Sutton's phone message has an enthusiastic man who ends the recording with "Good day! Good skiing! And riding!" They're open until the end of the month with, they say, lots of snow. Tickets cost $40. If you buy a ticket during the week, you get another free weekday ticket. Call 866-7639.

    Thirty-six-year-old Owl's Head is open until around April 22 and claim their ski conditions are "excellent." Tickets cost $20. Student's pay $15. Call (450) 292-3342.

    When I asked Ski Bromont's Eric Boyer to tell me the hill's slogan, he said, "My penis is a snowgun." I misunderstood him of course, because he was saying, "Happiness is a snowgun." They say they'll to be open until April 16 because they are expecting rain. No night skiing. Tickets cost $25 for adults, $20 for students 14-23 years old. Kids and seniors pay $15. Kids five and under ski for free. Call (450) 534-2200.

    If you want to get out of the province, you might want to check out Vermont's hills. Stowe, which describes itself as the "Granddaddy of all ski resorts," costs $56 (U.S.), which is nearly $100 Canadian. No night skiing. Call 1-800-253-4754.

    Jay Peak is a lot cheaper at $49 Canadian. Students pay $39 every day except Fridays, when it costs $29. Seniors pay $15. They will be open until May 1, weather permitting. Call (802) 988-9601.


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