Get hot, be not!
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All the snotty, hot-shot ins and outs this season can bear
by SIOBHÀN O'CONNOR and GENEVIEVE PAIEMENT
Oh what a frenzied struggle it is to keep up with the fashion industry's fleeting seasonal trends. Last fall it was all about retro lady-like colour-coordination and tasteful leather. Then along comes this spring with a punk-princess punch of candied-girlie, crazy-patterned mix 'n' match. Or is it high-class camouflage paired with neon stilettos and tulle? No, no it's tantamount to suburban-teen mall-kitsch and bondage wear and cone heels... Isn't it? Alas, the details are dizzying, darlings, so here's a breakdown to help you on your way.
*Disclaimer: the following list does not represent the opinions and ideals of the Mirror's collective fashion sense. It is merely the result of reading lots of magazines.
Hot stuff
- Mini skirts
- Grecian gowns
- Pins with punks band names or stupid
- sayings on them
- Corsets worn on top of clothing
- Black and white
- Ass cleavage
- Ass in advertising (thonged and selling
- everything from shoes to furniture)
- Shimmering, highlighting makeup
- Wedge heels
- Corsages
- The black, S&M, leather-bondage look
- Camouflage
- The return of the preppy, young
- Republican look
- Menswear (we swear!)
- Big bold, Technicolor florals
- Fluorescent, aka day glo
- Tulle (the stuff tutus are made of)
- Toile de Jouy print (18th-century tea-set
pattern)
- Ultra-girlieness, bright, bubblegum, butter
flies and floral exuberance
- Uniforms
- Horses (Thank Stella McCartney at Chloë)
- Pleated skirts
- Benicio Del Toro
- Cone heels
- Multi-coloured French manicured nails
- Curlers
- Neo-nautical
- Trench coats with nothing underneath
- Fedoras for women
- Long, pin-straight bangs
- Vegetarianism
Still sizzling on
- Lipstick lesbians
- A-line skirts
- Leather
- Retro sporty
- Female pimp look
- Pointy shoes
- Mohawks
- Muscle shirts for men
- Smoky, '70s aviator glasses
- Studs
- Bejewelled fabrics
- Tans
- Jackie O's fashion sense
- Wide-weave fishnets
Nots
- Pompadors
- Russell Crowe's hair at the Oscars
- Matching your bag to your shoes
- Those blouses with built-in neck
- tie scarves
- Animal prints
- Long skirts
- Pedal-pushers
- Gold lamé everything
- Dressing like a stripper at afterhours
- clubs
- Fake boobs
- Weird stuff happening at the knee
- (padding, slits, pockets)
- Long hair (you too, ladies)
- Reality TV--cease to exist, please
- Bandanas with baseball hats--it's one or
- the other boys
- Making fun of mullets--just live
- and let them live
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