Talkin' trash

>> Andre Williams is a dirty old man

by GENEVIEVE PAIEMENT

Cramps singer Lux Interior once said that "Andre Williams makes Little Richard look like Pat Boone." Indeed, this is the original Old Dirty Bastard. As a handsome young man, Williams penned '50s classics like "The Greasy Chicken," "Bacon Fat," "Jail Bait," and countless other oily, libidinous R&B soul shakers. But after collaborating with every soul or funk legend who ever lived as a songwriter and Motown producer, Williams took an unfortunate hiatus in the '80s when drug problems rendered him down and out. But then a new generation of rock 'n' rollers revived Williams' sleeping genius and copious collaborations, tours and new material surfaced. What follows is a topsy-turvy little telephone chat I had with the old chap.



Mirror: Mr. Williams, how are you?

Andre Williams: I'm fine. How do you look? Are you pretty or are you one of those girls with a hawk nose? Tell me how you look before you interview me. What colour are your eyes?

M: Blue.

AW: Blue eyes. That would make you cold-blooded.

M: You think? Well, um, what can we expect from you live these days?

AW: You can expect for me to do my job. You ask for Andre. I'm going in as Andre. That's my job. Accept it, reject it or grind it up and make oatmeal out of it, put it in some hamburger, whatever you decide to do, but you're getting the Dre.

M: I know you used to produce and that you've been a songwriter, an entertainer and a singer for many years--

AW: I'm not a singer--singers are vocalists. I'm not a vocalist, I'm not a papa-rachi [sic]. I'm a rachi-papa.

M: What does that mean?

AW: That means I'm Andre and that I live to be myself.

M: And how has being Andre changed, from back in the day to now?

AW: When I first started out I was young and handsome and I didn't have to beg for pussy. Now I'm old and half-rich so I can buy pussy.

M: Right, so what are your newest songs like?

AW: I got a briefcase full. I'm here with the Strap in Toronto and we're gonna complete this CD and we'll go get some money so we can have sex--but not with each other--and a party. We'll have enough money to find some sex and still pay the bills.

With the Strap and the Sexareenos at Café Campus on Saturday, March 24, 9pm, $10