The Farrelly family follies

>> Say It Isn't So fails as incest farce

by JOANNE LATIMER

It's only fair to warn audiences that the Farrelly brothers are behind Say It Isn't So. Enough said. The duo that brought us Kingpin, Dumb and Dumber, There's Something About Mary and Me, Myself & Irene could never be confused with the Coens, the other famous sibling filmmaking team. But expect to be suckerpunched when you pick your expectations up off the floor and decide to give this film a chance. It's low and lower.

Say It Isn't So, at its core, is an incest farce. While posing as a romantic comedy, it mines the rich terrain of brother-sister sex jokes, with a bit of bestiality thrown in. At one point, our hero, Gill (Chris Klein), has his arm stuck up the ass of a barnyard animal, losing his fiancée's wedding ring in the process. There are a few of these sight gags that made me cringe, like when Sally Field rubs a sandwich across her underarm to fill her husband's request for more salt on his ham.

What's Field doing in this film wearing lime stretch pants? She's reprising her role as a white-trash mother on the make for a wealthy son-in-law. She first played the part opposite Natalie Portman in Where the Heart Is and now she's Heather Graham's mom. They all live in a hick town called Beaver, where the local dogcatcher (Gill) falls for the hairdresser (Graham). Graham cuts Gill's ear off by accident during a trim and that starts the courtship.

The Farrelly brother's signature moment occurs soon after: Gill is in bed. He thinks Graham is giving him a thrill under the covers, only to discover it's her cat, Ringo, roaming below the border. Our young lovers are quickly separated by the discovery that Gill's birth mother is really Graham's mom, and the rest of the film is an uphill climb to disprove Gill's birthright. There are amputees, drug dealers, straitjackets and pick-up trucks, but all the mayhem is surprisingly slow and boring. Graham's wide eyes seem to be waiting for something to happen. And waiting.

Director J.B. Rogers, a regular colleague of the Farrellys, didn't try to make his own mark here. It feels ghost-directed by the sibling producers, who are equal-opportunity filmmakers for all things silly, gross and stupid. Say it isn't so? No can do.

Say It Isn't So opens Friday, March 23