Hold the baloney

>> Vulgar Deli's Uncle Costa says a mouthful

by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

Some bad news for those of you planning to relocate to a new pad this summer. No, it's not cranked rents on the Plateau or cockroach amnesty. It's that Uncle Costa, the Rock of Gibraltar of the "have van, will move shit" scene in Montreal, is calling it a day.

"I can't do moving, do design work, be a daddy and be in the band--I just can't. Music is looking good, starting to pick up and kick ass. I'm getting paid to do artwork. That's all I want, so I'm willing to let go of this business I've been doing for almost 10 years now."

Although I'm sure his chiropractor will approve, Costa's decision is a philosphical one. "There comes a point in a musician's life where you either do it or you don't. It's been 15 years now that I've been doing music--I'm talking since way back when I was practicing in my parents' garage--and now it's all coming together, finally. I've got a really good fuckin' feeling about this album. I think it's going to take off, so now the real work begins."

Musical whores

The album in question is the self-titled, debut release from Vulgar Deli. Sixteen thick-cut slices of meaty, menacing hardcore which find one-time Blood Sausage frontman Costa's gruff vocals fronting slash-and-burn punk attack care of a trio of former Ripcordz (François Demers, Danny LaFlamme and John Isherwood) and a character named Tom "Toothless" Pilon--"From Amnésie, les Unknownes, Walter, Vagabonds--he's a musical whore, like me," smiles Costa.

Vulgar Deli find themselves on the Indica label, no surprise given that Costa has lent his soulful crooning voice to recordings by Indica flagship act Grim Skunk in the past. No doubt the label saw the recognition value of a lineup culled from several high-profile Montreal punk acts.

"It doesn't mean we don't have dues to pay. We're still a new band. I'm not expecting a miracle here. We still have a crowd to get. We'll see at the record launch. It's a free show--can't go wrong with that."

Nope, especially when the opening act is in fact a short movie, called Théo Génétiquement Modifié, which sees its gala world premiere at the prestigious Jailhouse Rock Café. "I haven't seen it yet, but I'm told it's about a janitor who eats six Joe Louis and drinks a litre of RC Cola every day. One day he gets a bad batch and turns into a mutant and starts killing everyone. The director used some of our music in the film, so we thought it would be a cool and original idea to have a film and a CD launch at the same time. And do it for free, as a way of saying thanks to all our friends for coming to our shows and hopefully get a new crowd to come check us out."

Food-bank fury

Oh, and that new crowd will be in for an earful, if they don't know from Costa's, shall we say, lively and expressive stage presence. Consider, please, songs like "P.C. Police," "Sieg Smile," "Fais voir ta chatte," "I'm a Fuckin' Asshole" and the very to-the-point "I Hate You."

"You know me, I ain't going to hold back on lyrics," shrugs Costa. "I'm a gentleman most all of the time, but on stage--look, I don't give a fuck. I'll say whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want, however I want. That's what punk rock is all about, or at least should be."

A good example would be the brilliantly titled tune "Bombs Not Food," which takes a running go at suburban poseur punks treating poverty as a temporary fashion statement. Check the lyrics: "The lineups never end/And it never ceases to amaze me/You can't feed the poor/When you feed the stupid and the lazy."

"I wrote that song," Costa explains, "because I've been working at a food bank for a bunch of punks and homeless kids, once a week. I get really upset there because there's a lot of genuine kids who are on the street for whatever reason, and the people who work there work really hard to get them food. But there's this 10 per cent--to hear the amount of whining these people do when they're getting free food, or when they have to get up off their crusty asses and help unload the truck. It disgusts me. You're getting free food--shut up. Go pick up one box, carry it to a table, sit down and eat. And if you don't want it because it's Kraft, then don't eat it. What are you doing here? Get lost!

"I'm gonna get a lot of flack for that song, but I don't care. I'm sick of all this hush-hush, can't-say-this-because-of-that shit. Fuck off. I'll say whatever I want."

Go ahead, Costa. Those with a sense of humour, a critical edge and a taste for quality punk rock will keep right on listening.

CD launch and movie premiere at Jailhouse Rock on Saturday, March 10, 8pm, free