This week: The War Amp, evil rich people, Black Eyed Peas!

Plus: Loudmouthed Yankee folksinger disturbs the peace at Club Zone!

"edited" by AL SOUTH
sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT

M

I just want to comment on everybody who is dissing the Spaceshits. What makes me laugh is that if it wasn't for the Spaceshits, and maybe a handful of other bands, there probably wouldn't even be a rock 'n' roll scene in Montreal. While these people were listening to ska and swing and Creed, the Spaceshits were actually doing something--doing rock 'n' roll. And I think it did matter. That's all. [BLEEP!]

F

Yeah, this is for the guy who called about that fucking band the War Amps. I don't know if it's the guy from Me Mom and Morgentaler singing in it or not but I can tell you that band fucking sucks ass. I heard their CD, okay, and I'm a woman, all right, I'm a little bit overweight and they have no fucking right talking about chicks' tits and asses that way. They have no right going on about cocks as they do. Music is for expression, it's not for fucking TRASH. Peace out. [BLEEP!]

M

DMX is not hip hop. Cash Money are not hip hop. Black Eyed Peas are hip hop. The Roots are hip hop. DMX is rap. And anyone who does not know the fucking difference should not be saying the word hip hop. Thank you. P.S. I'm white but that don't matter. [BLEEP!]

M

I've got a rant about Eric Anderson. You're probably wondering who the fuck Eric Anderson is. And you know what? I wish I could still say the same thing. But I can't. Because last Friday night I went down to Club Zone in the pouring rain and the high winds, walking on those icy streets to see Chris Smithers. I paid $20 at the door and sat through one set of having to listen to this juicebag, retro, fucked- up, acid-deranged, idiot, cultural IMPERIALIST American folk singer Eric Anderson droning on for an hour. And then he finally leaves the stage. But then what does this Anderson guy do? He comes back into the bar during Smithers' set and the whole time he's talking out loud, he's laughing, he's meeting his cronies, everyone is telling him to be quiet, everyone is trying to be polite about it, people were going up to him and telling him to shut up and he just wouldn't shut the fuck up. I think when somebody has been around so long that they can't let another performer have the stage and let the people who paid their hard-earned money listen to that performer, they should just stay the fuck at home and stop wasting everyone's time. Eric Anderson, you suck! [BLEEP!]

M

This is for all the FTAA [Free Trade Area of the Americas] assholes that bitch and whine about everything on the fucking earth that is the fad of the week. If you had jobs, you wouldn't have time to fucking protest everything including the fucking sun. And aren't all the student FTAA protesters in the universities just gonna end up getting a fucking job with the companies that benefit from it? And for the chick that's looking for the fucking guys with LONG HAIRS, I think they're at the gay bars. [BLEEP!]

F

Hi, this is for the girl who wanted men with long hair. You could find them at www.northamericanmullet.com or you could go back to the '80s. Bye. [BLEEP!]

F

Yeah, this is going out to the weed-smoking asshole again. Am I supposed to be impressed by the fact that you have a university education? Good thing you have that piece of paper to prove it 'cuz every time you fire up a doobie, you're killing off brain cells. Never mind that guys who smoke just look like morons but whatever--you do what you like. As for me needing to get laid, don't worry about it, baby, 'cuz I get plenty of play. I'm a HOT MULATTO MAMA. Just so you know. Later. [BLEEP!]

F

Yeah, hi. I'm just calling to get my frustrations out and inform everyone of the evils of rich people. Last night my car got stuck on a street called Hudson in Westmount and I rang the doorbells of five different houses that had the lights on and cars in the driveway, hoping to use the telephone to get some help and guess what? Nobody fucking answered. So I had to walk for 20 minutes in -26 degree weather to find a pay phone and finally get help. The whole ordeal took two hours and it could have been avoided if people had any sense of HUMANITY left. So I'm just calling to say that if you are a rich fuck from Hudson street who'd like to redeem himself, I welcome you to call in and apologize to me and to the rest of you, I would really enjoy it if you could call in and help me to regain my confidence in the human race. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

F

Yeah, this is for that jackoff who picked up some chick because of the size of her tits and then found out it was her WONDERBRA. Look around you--that's most of the girls in this city and if you're picking them up because of the size of their tits you deserve what you get. [BLEEP!]

F

Hi. I'm calling about those people who have been doing those storefront projections on St-Laurent and I just want to know what's up with that. Is that supposed to be art? Or is it about the sexual revolution? Is it about FEMINISM? What's the deal? [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum