This week: Feminist books, Cat Stevens, sexual harassment, Fart street!

Plus: Mile-End soap now available!!

"edited" by AL SOUTH
sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT

F

This is for the guy that called about getting MUGGED in Montreal by white guys listening to too much Wu-Tang. You know what's surprising to me? That in this day and age there are still ignorant people like you who exist. Guess what? White people mug too. I think you watch too much TV. [BLEEP!]

M

Yo motherfucker, what's with all this shit dissing Wu-Tang? Wu-Tang be the shit and always been the shit, motherfucker! You don't know shit about nothing, motherfucker. Go back to your motherfucking Vanilla Ice, motherfucker! Fuck you! Peace. [BLEEP!]

F

Hey dude, if you think that hip hop is all about driving a Bentley with your Avirex jacket on then you are seriously fucked in the head. That's all I have to say to you, asswipe. [BLEEP!]

M

This is to the guy who was raving about the Spaceshits. Yeah, there was something special about that band. Oh wait a second, maybe there wasn't. And maybe that's why nobody ever cared about them. Okay. [BLEEP!]

M

Yo, for that shiksa who was wondering about the band Mercure. I have it on good authority that those guys are supposed to be playing at Club Zone sometime in February. They rock and Gene Loves Jezebel suck! That's all, folks! [BLEEP!]

M

Uh yeah, this is in response to the guy who thinks it's okay to treat 16-year-old girls like little slut whores as long as they're not prickteasers. And just so I don't get accused of being a lesbian/marginalized malcontent/bleeding heart liberal, I would like to say for the record that I'm a 21-year-old straight male who does occasionally go to trendy bars. Anyway, here goes. Buddy, I think you're a big fucking loser. Now I'm not exactly sure how you acquired your sense of beliefs, but you should probably start surrounding yourself with more positive influences. Maybe take a break from Bump and Grind night at Kokino's and sit home and listen to some CEREBRAL JAZZ or some late-night CBC programming. You can also put down your tattered copy of Maxim magazine and discover that there a few really accessible and good FEMINIST BOOKS out there. Far be it for me to tell you what to do but I hope you do change because you're fucking up gender dynamics for the rest of us. [BLEEP!]

M

I just want to say that it's 5 o'clock in the morning on a Sunday morning and I've spent all of today at an FTAA teach-in all about art and REVOLUTION. The whole point of the conference was about how to incorporate art into anti-corporate protest. And right now I'm just listening to Cat Stevens and I've just got to say that basically those people, those lecturers, have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. Because if they really want to motivate people, they should have people listen to the Almost Famous soundtrack. Then everyone would want to live in the '60s and therefore want to fight in a revolutionary sort of way. That's my practical advice for the FTAA. Peace. [BLEEP!]

F

Of all the messages I've ever tried to leave this is the one that is the most important. At my workplace my boss just got transferred to another department and he's been replaced by a guy with a history of sexually harassing employees. There have been reports about the guy but nothing is done. I'm disgusted and I don't want to work under this guy. If there is anybody who can do anything or knows anything I'd really appreciate if you could rant back and help. [BLEEP!]

M

Hey Rant Line(TM), me and my buddy Marcel are sitting here after smoking something like three grams of hash and we were thinking: imagine if they put an "a" where the "o" is in Fort street. It would be called Fart street and we think that would be pretty cool to live in a city that had streets with freaky sounding names like that. Okay, that's all. (shouting in unison) Weed! [BLEEP!]

F

This is for everybody out there who helped that weed-smoking asshole pass his drug test. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. I mean, really, who knows? This guy could be an air-traffic controller or something and we helped him get away with it. I just find guys who smoke up really unattractive. I'd rather go out with a guy who has no money, no dick, and whose finger is stuck up his nose. That's how bad and unattractive I find weed-smoking guys to be. All right, later. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum