Memorize your coat?

>> Having a photographic memory makes receipts redundant for Montreal's best coat checker

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Jonas Tekie

Age: 34

Home: Montreal North

Occupation: Coat-check guy at Moishe's

Job description: Checking coats, occasional kitchen duties, some bartending, being polite to rude people

Salary: $9.50 an hour plus tips

Bio: This studly Ethiopian emigrated to Montreal via Italy. After a spiritually unrewarding stint as a factory worker in the garment industry, he landed a job at Moishe's steak house, checking coats and dazzling customers with his photographic memory and ability to match coats to patrons without the help of receipts. He's been there 12 years.

Languages spoken: Amahric, Tigre, Somali, Italian, Greek, Arabic, French, English, some Hebrew and most likely a little Pig Latin.

Education: Not a great student to begin with, Jonas dropped out of university in the late '80s so he could entirely devote himself to work and earn money to finance his siblings' exodus from the political turmoil that was rampant in Ethiopia.

Best part of his job: The rush of a really busy evening and the camaraderie and feeling of group accomplishment that the Moishe's gang share on particularly hectic nights.

The three worst parts of his job:

1) Having to constantly explain to people why he doesn't need to give them a receipt for their coats.

2) Certain elderly, borderline senile customers who don't remember or recognize their own coats upon leaving and insist that Jonas has made a mistake.

3) Customers who make a sport of trying to fuck him up.

How often he makes a mistake: Approximately one in every 1,000. And this only happens when a customer flings their coat at Jonas without looking at or speaking to him. He needs to put a face to a coat in order to work his magic.

Has he ever been tempted to blow his nose or spit into some rude customer's fur coat or pocket? "No. I have no business with anything that is in a customer's pocket. That is strictly off limits."

Does he ever use his photographic memory to go scam a few extra bucks at the casino à la Rainman? No. Jonas doesn't like to gamble and feels that his gift would give him an unfair advantage over the good people who run the casino. And that would be dishonest.

Film preferences: Sean Connery movies--especially the James Bond stuff.

Musical preferences: Heavy metal. Slipknot, Iron Maiden. Local band Slop and Dope are his favourites.

Favourite TV channel: Discovery Channel

Philosophy: "Be patient. Love and peace always with the people."