Gays suck

>> Queer as Folk doesn't quite make the hype

by MATTHEW HAYS

As it turns out, there was good reason to be nervous about an American version of a British TV miniseries. Queer as Folk, the mega-hyped, no-holds-barred gay-soaper remake featuring hunky actors, copious subplots and titillating sex scenes, will finally hit Canadian airwaves this week.

And the news, while not entirely bad, can hardly be considered good either. The trio return, somewhat recognizable in their American versions, with main plot points intact. Boy-next-door type (Hal Sparks) has ongoing crush on best friend (Gale Harold), who's white-hot and unforgivably self-obsessed; 17-year-old Randy Harrison becomes fixated on Harold after a one-night stand. Moving in and out of the storyline are concerned parents, queenie roommates, an overdosing insecure type and a lesbian couple who've just given birth (the self-obsessed stud donated the sperm).

So sensitive were the creators of this series to the potential charge of diluting the sexual extremity of the British series, they've actually upped the ante here. There are straightforward depictions of rimming and fucking, taking TV (albeit cable TV) to greater limits than its British predecessor did.

But something strange happens in the Yankee Queer as Folk. So concerned about the steaminess of the show (and we wouldn't want to forget about that, seeing as that's what's going to bait people into writing extensively about the show, allowing for tons of free publicity), the folks behind Queer as Folk seem to have forgotten about the actual script.

This is, without a doubt, one of the most uneven bits of writing I've witnessed, ever. When a sensitive and well-handled scene occurs (and there are a few, including the overdose scene, which is undeniably moving), it is invariably followed within a minute or so by a stupid, thoughtless scene, littered with idiotic one-liners and cardboard stereotypes (yeah, yeah, I know Richard Dyer's argument about stereotypes being used in positive ways--that ain't what's happening here).

Thus we are left with a mishmash of empty, vapid gay types, stumbling their way through a barrage of bad dialogue and often-clumsy setups. After 30-odd years of the gay liberation movement, this is the progress we've been waiting for? American warmed-up leftovers, all of which were shot in Hollywood's fave banana republic (otherwise known as Canada)? Good Christ, just stuff me back in the closet and I'll vote for Stockwell Day in the next election.

Queer as Folk premieres Monday, Jan. 22 at 10pm on Showcase