2000 WEIRD crime
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Dodgy and dopey doings
by KRISTIAN GRAVENOR
Thumbs down for thumb up: In June, Vital "Le Pouce magique" Lemire, 54, a self-proclaimed "healer" and "supermillionaire" from Lac-St-Jean was hit with 10 counts of sexual assault after customers, aged 13-45, denounced him. His therapies included chest massages to help breasts grow, deep kissing to cure throat warts and injections of sperm into vaginas to cure AIDS. Lemire, who had spent five years in Cowansville penitentiary for similar practices, claimed he had a diploma from a special institute in Brazil. His cure for arthritis consisted of subjecting patients to near-boiling-hot baths; as well, he'd slide his "Magic Thumb" deep into vaginas to crush ovarian cysts.
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But now Biff's a stiff: Laval authorities revealed that they had spent half a million tax dollars trying to build a case against Hells Angel Biff Hamel before he was killed this year.
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The importance of funeral planning: On April 11 at 7 p.m., Robert Gagnon dumped the body of his religious mentor Roland Hamel, 80, from a wheelbarrow into a snowbank on Bellechasse, telling shocked onlookers that he was fed up of trying to dispose of the corpse. Gagnon had lived with his wife and Hamel in a three-member religious sect section at 6318 Christophe-Colombe, without phone or electricity. The three rarely left their home, used no buses or metros and avoided walking on streets with "Saint" in them to discourage the devil. They took no government assistance, read the Bible a lot and believed the world was ending soon. Gagnon had tried to dispose of Hamel's body at two funeral homes who refused to accept the body without an official death certificate.
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He liked to eat her muffin: Babysitter Gisèle Daigle-Seyer, 46, got 23 months in prison for serving pot muffins and sexual favours to the 13-year-old boy she was minding.
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The farm went up in a puff of smoke: Germain Beaupré of St-Raymond lost his 11-hectare farm, which included two cottages, an all-terrain vehicle, a chainsaw and a high-power weed-whacker. Police confiscated the $80,000 property because Beaupré had grown 975 marijuana plants on the land in 1998. It was the first case tried under 1997's federal Controlled Drugs and Substances Act, which gives police new powers to combat drugs. The police got a lead that the tree farm wasn't what it appeared to be after seeing Beaupré at a local hydroponics shop.
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Another celebrity egg-roll citing: Boxer Alex Hilton complained that on July 23 at 12:45 a.m. police pepper-sprayed him and beat him up outside his father-in-law's restaurant, the Maison du Egg-Roll. The Chinese restaurant on Notre-Dame in St-Henri was made famous by Pierre Trudeau, who in recent years occasionally made political speeches there.
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He saw the man's point: Roland Nadeau, a blind man from St-Roch, was sitting around minding his own business as Hugo Davanzo injected himself with cocaine. When Davanzo allegedly darkly muttered an intention to "take three or four kids with me," Nadeau took exception and hit him, leading Davanzo to threaten him with a syringe which he suggested may or may not contain HIV.
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Night-night, Dédé: André "Dédé" Desjardins, a union chief from the Olympic era turned gangster and loan shark, was murdered here in May. Desjardins, who in recent years had moved to the Dominican Republic, was said to be worth up to $25-million and had allegedly bought off so many government officials in the D.R. that his approval was considered necessary for any project to get off the ground. His Caribbean home was quickly ransacked as soon as news of his death spread to the island.
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Proving that you're never too old to do the things you've always dreamt of doing: Eighty-one-year-old Lucien Roy killed his roommate Germain Massé, 90, at their Gouin W. home Sept. 22. Roy says he can't remember why or how he did it.
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How's it hangin'? On Canada Day on the Grande-Allée in Quebec City, in the bathroom of gay hangout Bar 89, a 69-year-old regular tried to pinch Yvon Matte's bum. Matte knifed the old man, killing him, then went outside and hanged himself on the street. An American tourist cut him down before it was too late.
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Man muzzled, dog barks on: On Oct. 20, Judge Jean-Franç#231;ois Gosselin ordered Fernand Daigle, 60, of St-Lambert-de-Lauzon not to communicate with Filou, his neighbour's golden retriever. The judge mused, "Should I also forbid the dog from barking at the accused?" Daigle, in court for allegedly threatening his neighbour and the pet pooch, was forced to accept the ruling or spend 15 days in jail. "You're 60 years old," said the judge. "You should be able to settle a complaint with your neighbour."
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Quebec Civil Code, special rock star subsection: The director of a detainees' rights group called L'acceuil inconditionel revealed that he had been sentenced to 20 months in prison in 1983 for poking a stranger in the back, pretending it was a hold-up. The victim of the prank, he was to learn, was singer Daniel Lavoie.
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Vigilantes get no love: Mario Many, a school-bus driver already convicted of sexual assault of minors, got into more hot water when he refused to cooperate in the assault trial of the father of one of his young victims. The father had beaten him up with nunchuks in St-Jean-sur-Richelieu. In a similar story, a mother from Valleyfield was sentenced to three days in prison for threatening a man who she believes abused her four year old.
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Best biker handles: Francois "the Door" Laporte, Daniel "Poutine" Leclerc, Eric "Béluga" Leclerc, Eric "le Pif" Fournier, Claude "Burger" Berger, Clermont "Ti-Narf" Carrier, Guy "Piramid" Pronovist, Eric "Wrick" Hinse, Pierre "Ti-Ké" Clement, Pierre "Panache" Tremblay, Claude "Dum-Dum" Demers.
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Bongs, not bombs: The Mansonville factory where Gerald Bull built the world's largest cannon, which he was allegedly going to sell to Iraq (apparently leading Israeli agents to kill him in Brussels in 1990), was recently discovered housing a major hydroponics operation.
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It was too early to get blasted: During Rocket Richard's funeral, a bank robber took the wine reviewer from a TV show called Salut, Bonjour hostage. Cops killed the hostage-taker May 31 at St-Hubert and Bélanger. The winer was no whiner, refusing police offers to counsel his shock.
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Stink over ink: After an 18-month legal battle, a 29-year-old man persuaded Quebec Medicare to foot the $5,000 cost of removing his tattoos. He said the tattoos were an unpleasant reminder of family abuse.
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Curious cops: In March, 40 motorists charged with drunk driving in the Bois-Francs and de l'Amiante area had their charges rescinded after accusing the authorities of over-curiosity. The officers harangued drivers with a multitude of irritating questions such as, "Is this car stolen?" and "Do you have a bill for that computer in the backseat?"
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Why lawyers need Rolexes: Daniel Moisan, 23, a suspected drug dealer, was tossed into prison because his lawyer was late to the trial. A Superior Court judge later reversed the decision that put Moisan behind bars.
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Don't hassle the hos: 21-year-old Nicholas Boissoneault was teasing hookers at the Main and Ste-Catherine on Oct. 29 at 2 a.m. Somebody took exception and hit him. He fell on the ground, smashed his head and died.
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Till death do them part: A couple reported only as Claudine and Stéphane, 33 and 34, got married Sept. 17 in St-Jérôme, wrote each other poems and killed themselves a few hours later.
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Should have stopped at 41: Two youths and two adults teamed up to rob 42 local dry cleaners before getting caught in March.
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Sitting on a fortune: On Feb. 18 Nöel Barbeau, 38, was jumped by a citizen who saw him robbing the TD bank at Ste-Catherine and Bleury. "Let me go, I'll just give you the money," said the robber. The man held the robber down and later told the media, "I wouldn't recommend others do that."
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Judges like porno too: Porno star Nancy Lamontagne, aka Anne Sophia, 29, can pursue her international film career after a judge offered her a conditional release after she was found guilty of writing fake cheques in the summer of 1999.
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Loser wins race: On Aug. 31 in Pte-Claire, two early-morning car thieves proved unable to resist the temptation to race their newly acquired vehicles. Michel Laplante, 33, drove a stolen Camry into an electricity pylon, killing himself instantly. Partner-in-crime Robert Joncas, 39, went to help but took off before two Pincourt police officers arrived. Cops chased Joncas, who took off in the car, then stole a bicycle that he rode before attempting to swim away in the Outaouais River. Cops eventually fished him out and smacked him with seven charges as he towelled off.
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She hit him with a triple-scoop slam piledriver: Benny Young, a local manager of professional wrestlers, reported that his wife has beaten him repeatedly.
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Low-profit-margin theft: Jan Lombier-Lambert, 21, of St-Benoît made a speciality out of stealing all-terrain vehicles worth $3,000-9,000. He'd resell them for a mere $400.
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Never miss a chance to nail your enemy: A full-scale girls' brawl broke out at the funeral of singer Richard Cazes in Quebec City in August. His daughter Nathalie and his ex, Suzie Bouchard, scrapped in front of the crowd leading granny to faint at the service.
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The great indoors has its advantages: Denis Borduas, 25, a small-time drug dealer with no fixed address asked residents at Îberville and Rouen if he could sleep on the chair on their veranda on Aug. 9. At 3:30 a.m. a passerby shot him dead while he slept.
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Freakin' coincidence, or what? In 1988 Greenfield Police Chief Jean-Paul Cloutier tried to fire local cop Denis Dufresne for theft, but the union intervened and blocked it. On Sept. 30, Dufresne, 46, was allegedly driving while drunk when he accidentally ran over and killed Cloutier's son, Alain, 35, who died on the spot.
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