If you took this astrology stuff literally, it would seem only natural to give Earth signs a lump of coal each so they could enjoy the bounty of the planet. But if you want to keep your Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn friends and family happy, here are a few other suggestions written in the stars.



Tender, tactical Taurus

(April 21-May 21)

Taurus is known for being reliable and patient, as any true Canadiens fan must be. The Hockey Night in Canada table, designed by Douglas Coupland, takes him straight to centre ice. $199 online at Pure-design.com.

Jewellery made with the precision of a Swiss watch should appeal to Taurus, the sign that rules the neck and loves the finer things in life. Unleashed on Montreal stores this month, Swatch Bijoux features necklaces, bracelets and earrings made up of little coloured silicone cubes, like a cloud of crystals. At Bijouterie Eliko (680 Ste-Catherine W.), $30-70.

If you can't find a velvet painting of a matador, order a suitable art print online at Barewalls.com. This refreshingly searchable site originated in Montreal and offers tons of fun posters. Taurus might like a bull by Japanese master Sekkyo ($20--you'll spend more to have it mounted or framed).

With an eye for arts and design, Taurus will approve of these Duoplane shelves by Tokyo-based Sojiro Inoue. They can be mounted horizontally or vertically--a good antidote to this sign's tendency to be inflexible at times. At Omorpho (3670 St-Laurent), $89.

Earth-minded signs will appreciate a membership to Le Frigo Vert, a non-profit vegan food co-op. For $15, they'll have access to fresh produce, grown in environmentally friendly conditions. At 2130 Mackay, 848-7586.



Vigilant Virgo

(Aug. 24-Sept. 22)

Virgos like to make themselves useful. Help them keep busy with this 100-piece tool set from Canadian Tire. At $39.99, it's ideal for this ever-industrious sign, who'll appreciate how neatly all the components fit back into their slots.

For the health-conscious perfectionist, a hand-held breath monitor brings an end to worries! BreathAlert detects offensive odours caused by bacteria and displays a reading from one to four (roughly: kissable to repugnant). Buy it online at tanita.com for $30 (U.S.).

A catchy name and off-the-cuff graphics make Dirty Girl more fun than your average trying-to-be-naughty bath products. The company's Virgin/Slut soap seems tailor-made to Virgo's maiden namesake. Look for them at Urban Outfitters (1250 Ste-Catherine W.).

Spike Virgo's bath with a squirt from a plastic blowfish soap dispenser. It can hold shampoo, hand soap, lotion or bubble bath. $12.95 at Oink-Oink (1345 Greene, in Westmount).

New-York-based scent specialists Demeter offer sprays, lotions and bath oils that feature naturally derived odours like bamboo, gin & tonic, leather and funeral home, to name a few. Give your male Earth sign a bottle of "dirt" soothing salts for $25 at Simons (977 Ste-Catherine W.).



Calm, calculating Capricorn

(Dec. 22-Jan. 20)

Those born under this sign are supposed to be practical and disciplined, so they're likely to appreciate--and maybe even use--products designed to keep people organized. These metal Emu boxes come in a set of two for only $9.95 at Ikea (9191 Cavendish).

For those folks interested in finances, this Eureka calculator has been ergonomically designed so that it's comfortable to hold and easy to use. Money-minded Capricorns will be able to instantly determine currency exchange rates. In blue, yellow, green or orange at Chiasso.com, $25 (U.S.).

Encourage the prudent, overconventional Capricorns to get in touch with their animal origins with goat's milk soap from Senteurs de Provence (4077 St-Denis). It's the ultimate luxury at $7.99 for a big bar.

Warre's Warrior Compendium Dice Games come with tiny bottles from the oldest port mark in the world (circa 1670), two sets of dice and a rule book. Capricorns are an odd mix of ambitious and reserved, so this package will loosen them up while heightening their appreciation for tradition, competition and fine wines. $18.95 at SAQ outlets.

Casio no longer means keyboards in suburban malls. They now boast the latest in wristwatch technology for the typical Capricorn who is a little obsessed with getting ahead. There's a digital camera watch ($299.95), a wrist MP3 player and a GPS navigation system watch, so the wearer knows exactly--and I do mean exactly--where they are in the world. Look for them at BatteryPlus in Place Montréal Trust.