Fussbudget beats

>> Electronic sounds for the hard-to-please

by CHRIS HATHERILL

-- Annie Dufresne eyes the linguistic divide -- Genetically programmed for your listening pleasure -- Depressing sounds for the holidays -- Electronic sounds for the hard-to-please -- The sound of Christmas evil -- This year's bumper crop of comp CDs made easy -- DJ sets in your Discman this season -- Stuffing the R&B renaissance in your stocking -- Country cracker Christmas -- This holiday season, rock the Chanukah bush in style -- Some seasonal jazz hints -- Yuletide mood swings

These days, everybody's into everything. Your secretary loves Sarah McLachlan, but also dabbles in ambient Swedish noise terrorism. Your little brother loves Eminem but was feeling that dark Optical track you had on repeat for a week. Even your grandmother hums along to the Moby track in the Bailey's ads before returning to her Bing Crosby LPs. This is a good thing, but it makes for some tough holiday tune-buying. Luckily for us, 2000 saw a move away from ultra-specific genres towards a more Barbapapa style of album: loose, blobby and easily able to mould to your needs.

In the "where the hell do I file this?" category, Photek and King Kooba take top honours for mixing up insane multi-ingredient stews that still taste decent. The former king of sparse drum & bass drives comfortably across the musical landscape on Solaris while King Kooba's Nufoundfunk is indescribable except to say that it's breaks-heavy and pretty essential. Both will work well on those who have no idea what's going on but are sure they like it.

For the dream girl in your life, that most beautiful of creatures who likes good music as much as shopping and unicorns, you can't go wrong with Kosheen's "Hide U" single and/or the Virgin Suicides soundtrack, the one with music from French band Air. Get it and it will be smooth sailing until at least Valentine's Day.

You might also try Luomo, which will also work well on your more minimally minded associates. Vocal house meets clicky techno on his Vocalcity album, or alternately buy them Matthew Herbert's bloody fantastic letsallmakemistakes mix on Tresor. It's freaky enough to please all but the most experimentally inclined and will send anybody with a pulse bouncing off the walls.

For your fancy-pants peoples, consider Dimitri from Paris' A Night At the Playboy Mansion. Disco sleaze of the highest order and immaculate cover art make a perfect little gift package. On a similar tip, delight your loved ones with Tiga's new mix on Turbo, two CDs of electro-rific hard techno with a cover photo which alone would be worth the price. Other dirty Frenchman who rocked multi-style records this year: Laurent Garnier, Phoenix and Rob.

Hardest to please are those jaded, jazzy friends of yours who refuse to believe anything made on a computer is real music. Shut them up and open their minds with St. Germain's brilliant Tourist album. It flawlessly mixes the dancefloor with the moody café table, plus it's on Blue Note, so they can't say nothin'! If they still don't get it, slide a copy of Gilles Peterson's INCredible Sound of... two-CD mix into their pants. If they're still not feeling the new-jazz vibe it's time to find some new friends.

If they're rock friends, it's Primal Scream or godspeed you black emperor! time. If you're trying to ween them off trance, try Circulation's Colours and if they're into downtempo, why settle for anything less than the best? Two words: Tosca, Suzuki.