Snow flake-out

>> Depressing sounds for the holidays

by LORRAINE CARPENTER

-- Annie Dufresne eyes the linguistic divide -- Genetically programmed for your listening pleasure -- Depressing sounds for the holidays -- Electronic sounds for the hard-to-please -- The sound of Christmas evil -- This year's bumper crop of comp CDs made easy -- DJ sets in your Discman this season -- Stuffing the R&B renaissance in your stocking -- Country cracker Christmas -- This holiday season, rock the Chanukah bush in style -- Some seasonal jazz hints -- Yuletide mood swings

Television tells us that the holidays are all about family, friends and festive fun, but consider this: December brings darkness, dead trees and fat men with facial hair. And you wonder why the suicide rate skyrockets? For an appropriate soundtrack to your drunkenness and depression, consider these CDs.

No one does downers like the British, or more specifically, the Scottish. Don't let all that jangly '60s mimicry fool you, the latest Belle and Sebastian album, Fold Your Hands Child You Walk Like a Peasant, is more mellow than ever and as harsh (in parts) as being force-fed haggis. That's right, intestines.

For a slightly more pleasant trip, look into Parachutes, the beautiful, haunting debut by England's Coldplay. There are peaks here, occasional uplifting moments and soaring vocals, but the valleys are dark and scary. And cold.

Speaking of cold, nothing's as depressing as listening to dead guys who offed themselves. That's right, it's the now-trendy Nick Drake, whose three lovely, sombre albums were re-released this year (check out his 1972 finale, Pink Moon) and Ian Curtis' Joy Division. Anything by Manchester's finest would be appropriate here but take advantage of the newly released Complete BBC Sessions for that ultra-raw sound. Rest in peace, boys, we sure aren't.

Manchester? Depression? How could I not mention the Smiths? Any disc by Morrissey and the boys has its three-hanky quota but Louder Than Bombs, a collection of singles and B-sides that features "Asleep," is possibly the biggest musical downer ever.

On the local tip (but still on the U.K. tip somehow), get on Murray Lightburn's tortured trip with the Dears' debut, The End of a Hollywood Bedtime Story. Ever had a nasty love-gone-wrong scenario? Re-hash it again and again with this lovely disc and (hopefully) a lovely mickey.

Did someone mention booze? It seems we're back to Scotland with the amazingly drunk and fat and bearded Arab Strap. Their two releases this year, Elephant Shoe and the live disc Mad For Sadness, just reek of holiday hell with mellow, pulsating music, embarrassingly frank lyrics and slurred vocals. Heavy holidays, everyone!